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Unread 27 Feb 20, 12:18 PM  
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#33
megaflyer
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Originally Posted by SussexFamily View Post
For some strange reason I found the car journey as the most emotional time for me. I gave his Eulogy and I knew I had to hold everything together for that but I was a wreck in the car. I agree MF to see people showing signs of respect was very comforting indeed.

Yes I was a wreck in the car and my Niece held my hand the whole way . What was nice is my Father had given up driving around a year before and he hated that and kept saying if he was still driving he would have had a new jag in the drive (his car of choice ) and when we saw the hearse and limos coming up his drive and they were all brand new Jags we knew he was with us and smiling

Its still very raw for me and I am finding it hard to deal with but this thread and the supportive comments (from most ) is comforting.
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Unread 27 Feb 20, 12:22 PM  
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#34
SussexFamily
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Originally Posted by megaflyer View Post
Yes I was a wreck in the car and my Niece held my hand the whole way . What was nice is my Father had given up driving around a year before and he hated that and kept saying if he was still driving he would have had a new jag in the drive (his car of choice ) and when we saw the hearse and limos coming up his drive and they were all brand new Jags we knew he was with us and smiling

Its still very raw for me and I am finding it hard to deal with but this thread and the supportive comments (from most ) is comforting.
Dads car was a Bentley and I said to my brothers, its probably the first and last time he has been in a Bentley!

Its 5 years for me now MF, I recently found some pics on my phone of him and I was right back there with him. Id like to say it gets easier but there will always be moments MF. Stay strong - he's watching over you.
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Unread 27 Feb 20, 12:25 PM  
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Lindaelaine
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I live close to a church along a busy road yet it's not that often that I see a hearse go by while I'm walking by, however when I do I always stop walking and lower my head, it just doesn't feel right to not acknowledge someone on their way to their grave and it's just being respectful to the family grieving. I have noticed others doing the same and mostly elderly people but it really pleased me one time when I stopped and a young lad who was walking behind me passed me and then also stopped, it was heartwarming to know that as much as youngsters get stick these days for having a lack of respect, to know that when they see respect being shown they will join in.
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Unread 27 Feb 20, 12:27 PM  
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EssexSue
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As my in-laws lived close to the church we, the immediate family, walked behind the hearse and the funeral director walked in front all the way. It was very dignified and felt the correct thing to do.
The Church was a massive part of their lives so it would have been important to them everything was organised perfectly.
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Unread 27 Feb 20, 01:31 PM  
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WhereIBelong
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My mother's hearse took her from Orkney to Inverness (closest crem) my sister was in the car following - there would have been tailbacks for miles on the A9 if no-one had passed!
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Unread 27 Feb 20, 01:57 PM  
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It's a difficult one because on the one hand, as said, if you don't overtake (safely, I might add) then you could have massive tailbacks, depending on the road and how long the journey is etc. etc. Perhaps people just think to treat them like any other slow moving vehicle i.e. a tractor? Overtake if safe to do so.

On the other, yes, it should be a mark of respect not to potentially endanger someone else, including the deceased. Personally if I knew the traffic was busy anyway, for the sake of getting up to 30mph just to then get behind other cars, what's the point?

Sadly I'm always reminded of a story from near me a few years back when an impatient driver overtook a hearse and cortege that was about to turn into the crem, suffice to say the hearse ended up on it's side, flowers everywhere, the hearse driver and passengers in the funeral car hurt, and of course the three occupants of the overtaking car were taken to hospital. Not to mention the rest of the family and friends who had to witness it.
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Unread 27 Feb 20, 03:01 PM  
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#39
littlelish0544
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Originally Posted by megaflyer View Post
At my Fathers funeral last year the funeral director walked in front of the hearse in Top Hat and cane and the mourners lined the drive from the gates of the graveyard up to the crem and bowed their heads - as a family we found this respectful and comforting
My dad died 10 years ago this coming october and they did this for him too, i wasnt expecting it but it was so... "nice" it was such a sad day, and was the last hour we had with him so speak and it was just so dignified and respectful. At that time it made everything else seem to stop and the only focus was dad. I still miss him terribly, and some days as if he is just gone, but you learn to live with it and can find the warmth and love in nice memories eventually, without always feeling sad. Im sorry you have lost your Dad recently, if you were here id hug you, so have some virtual ones xxxxxx
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Unread 27 Feb 20, 04:13 PM  
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#40
megaflyer
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Originally Posted by littlelish0544 View Post
My dad died 10 years ago this coming october and they did this for him too, i wasnt expecting it but it was so... "nice" it was such a sad day, and was the last hour we had with him so speak and it was just so dignified and respectful. At that time it made everything else seem to stop and the only focus was dad. I still miss him terribly, and some days as if he is just gone, but you learn to live with it and can find the warmth and love in nice memories eventually, without always feeling sad. Im sorry you have lost your Dad recently, if you were here id hug you, so have some virtual ones xxxxxx
Thank you so very much for your lovely reply - I have something in my eye ... xxxx
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