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Old 28 Nov 21, 11:38 AM  
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#11
Princess Ariel
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Originally Posted by duchy View Post
If they are on a break then both are free to see other people .
Just as you think he should think of himself of single, so can she.
She may very well have forgotten she even set up the Tinder profile , it seems unlikely she ever used it as they saw so much of each other anyway. I’d not mention it.
Young love eh , I’d hate to be that age again , all the drama and angst, exhausting.
They are having some time apart, he’s come back home and cried in my arms, I get the impression this is different to the break they had last year.

I did say to DH about when she would be able to meet anyone from tinder anyway as they were always together, I’m definately not mentioning it.

I think they are both hurting at the moment.

He said she’s been diagnosed with anxiety, stress and depression, I have noticed for a while that she hasn’t seemed herself so I believe this is true, I think she is trying to access counselling and get herself well. To be honest she has done the right thing breaking it off and I’ve told DS that, he is too young to be emotionally supporting someone at the level she needs at the moment. I’ve reminded him that he always has us, he has a good career and amazing friends and he’s still so young. It all just sounded so cliched coming out of my mouth though, I know at that age it feels like it’s the end of the world!
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Old 28 Nov 21, 11:40 AM  
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Thank you for all the replies. My gut Instinct when DS told me about the tinder was not to mention it and I’m glad that I haven’t now.

I feel like I struggle more parenting the boys as they’ve got older than when they were little lol 😂
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Old 28 Nov 21, 11:49 AM  
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Originally Posted by Princess Ariel View Post
I feel like I struggle more parenting the boys as they’ve got older than when they were little lol 😂
No truer words have been spoken.😂
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Old 28 Nov 21, 12:57 PM  
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Sew109
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It’s all part of growing up falling in love splitting up getting cheated on etc. Best for Mum to help and support when asked and stay out of it when not or at least that’s my view 😀
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Old 28 Nov 21, 01:23 PM  
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DisneyStacey
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Originally Posted by Sew109 View Post
It’s all part of growing up falling in love splitting up getting cheated on etc. Best for Mum to help and support when asked and stay out of it when not or at least that’s my view 😀
I agree with this.

Just keep the channels of communication open with him - make sure he knows you’re always there if he needs you. I like someone’s earlier suggestion of a walk. My DD always finds it easier to talk to me when we’re in the car - I think the lack of eye contact makes things easier for her.
From what you’ve said I know you probably wouldn’t, but don’t speak bad of the (ex) gf - you will only be seen as the “bad guy”. No good can possibly come of mentioning the tinder thing.

It all sounds very normal and part and parcel of young love.
It’s always incredible intense and all consuming as they find their feet in the world.

Parenting teens is far more difficult than I ever imagined.
When I look back at my teenage years, I just feel immensely guilty for what I put my parents through 😂.

Hope your son is okay and sending you a hug too x
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Old 28 Nov 21, 01:29 PM  
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lfc_sarah
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I dread going through this. My son is 13 at the moment.

Lots of love to your boy. You sound like a lovely mum x
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Old 28 Nov 21, 01:43 PM  
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I have to say though at this age I would be devastated to think my mum had put this up on an Internet forum and would probably see this as a massive breach of trust.

Have you told him you have down this ?
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Old 28 Nov 21, 01:51 PM  
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I would never speak badly of his gf, she is a lovely girl and we have always got on really well with her.
We just took the dog out for a walk, he didn’t want to come and is still upset but he is talking to us which is good.
We have always had a good relationship, me and his dad split when he was 2 and his dad never really bothered with him (even though he had a good relationship with his older brother!) so me and DS have always had a strong bond. I am so proud of him and the young man he is now.
He wouldn’t mind me putting it on here, it’s relatively anonymous anyway and he’s quite laid back about stuff like that. I just wasn’t sure about how best to approach what happened this morning and last night as I was worrying about him.
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Old 28 Nov 21, 01:57 PM  
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If it all comes to a end and he gets over her I would tell him about tinder. Not now because it’s still raw and he’ll think your trying to make sure there’s no going back. Blimey you think when they get older it gets easier but it doesn’t x ❤️
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Old 28 Nov 21, 03:18 PM  
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Good work mum

Sounds like you are doing a grand job in the minefield that is teenage love.
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