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Old 28 Nov 21, 05:38 PM  
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#11
Tinks2014
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We don’t know your story . It must be heartbreaking for you and your young children knowing they are missing out on grandparents . I would agree find your local Christmas charity collection and donate . Some local churches also do shoebox gift collections. You just put age appropriate in your box and they donate to those children who would go without .
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Old 28 Nov 21, 05:39 PM  
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#12
di5ney
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Its the inlaws who dont want to visit my kids! My dh has tried to get them to spend time with the and they always come up with excuses. Even when dd2 was born they were too busy to meet her!
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Old 28 Nov 21, 05:41 PM  
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Rebelrebel
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Originally Posted by di5ney View Post
Yes, we could not have tried any harder over the past 7.5 years to get them to have a relationship with my kids. They want the title of grand parents but they have never wanted TO BE grandparents. They think sending gifts is being grandparents. My husband is completely gutted at the situation but when they tell u to your face how much time they spend with his nieces and what they do with them etc it is nothing but a kick in the teeth for dh especially. I can guarantee we have exhausted all avenues. I wont say any more on the situation but i can guarantee i am not the manipulative one in this situation. Dh will be taking the gifts back again, he doesnt want them thinking we will accept things off them. Any other circumstances and we would normally donate unwanted gifts to charity.
Sorry about this, it must be so hard for DH and DDs. Would it be worth putting a note with the returned parcels to let them know they are not wanted and any further ones will be donated to charity?
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Old 28 Nov 21, 05:43 PM  
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jndt
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If your dh is putting them on their doorstep I would write on further parcels will be donated.
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Old 28 Nov 21, 05:44 PM  
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di5ney
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Originally Posted by Rebelrebel View Post
Sorry about this, it must be so hard for DH and DDs. Would it be worth putting a note with the returned parcels to let them know they are not wanted and any further ones will be donated to charity?
Yes thats a good idea thanks. Its heart breaking for dh, it really is. He has had a pretty tough life with health issues since he was a young child and it has finally been stable the past few years. Having kids was only ever a dream for him due to his health and he is extremely proud of his kids. He is gutted his parents dont share the same interest in them. The joys of families!
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Old 28 Nov 21, 05:48 PM  
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Stitchesmumanddad
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How really sad
I know their view of the relationship is different to the one you want etc, but is there no middle ground here ?
Life is too short
Im personally not the doting nanny. Im just not. I send my son money ( a lot ) and do visit between my extensive holidays - but Im defo not the traditional nanny. Does not mean I love my grandson any less
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Old 28 Nov 21, 06:05 PM  
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di5ney
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Originally Posted by Stitchesmumanddad View Post
How really sad
I know their view of the relationship is different to the one you want etc, but is there no middle ground here ?
Life is too short
Im personally not the doting nanny. Im just not. I send my son money ( a lot ) and do visit between my extensive holidays - but Im defo not the traditional nanny. Does not mean I love my grandson any less
I think the whole “life is too short” thing is why my dh has tried so hard for so long. There is absolutely nothing from them at all i’m afraid. I get everyone is different but they are not interested at all in our kids but will happily visit his nieces, take them on days out, take them on holiday etc.
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Old 28 Nov 21, 06:07 PM  
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marypoppins38
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Originally Posted by di5ney View Post
I think the whole “life is too short” thing is why my dh has tried so hard for so long. There is absolutely nothing from them at all i’m afraid. I get everyone is different but they are not interested at all in our kids but will happily visit his nieces, take them on days out, take them on holiday etc.
Have you asked them why they are so different with your children?
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Old 28 Nov 21, 06:11 PM  
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di5ney
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Originally Posted by marypoppins38 View Post
Have you asked them why they are so different with your children?
Dh has and they have denied it but will happily tell him everything they have been doing with his 2 nieces… it is unbelievable!
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Old 28 Nov 21, 06:17 PM  
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Claudette
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Originally Posted by di5ney View Post
I think the whole “life is too short” thing is why my dh has tried so hard for so long. There is absolutely nothing from them at all i’m afraid. I get everyone is different but they are not interested at all in our kids but will happily visit his nieces, take them on days out, take them on holiday etc.
You say there is absolutely nothing from them, but your thread is about dumping their presents back on the door step! So there is something, in that they bring presents. I don’t understand why they would be different with one set of grandchildren to another and think you (as in both of you or your DH) should ask them.

I daresay we are not exemplary an aunt and uncle as we haven’t spent a lot of time with nieces and nephews, but we would be distraught, hurt and mostly confused if our gifts were dumped on our doorstep.
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