Autistic daughter socially excluded suffering mentally

[Vinniecat]

Originally Posted by TC Devon

Sadly the other parent knows what effect asd has on social skills. It’s her job to know, it’s her profession. I never want to sit down and talk to her. Thanks to her my child wants to kill herself. I loathe her. The school are supporting. Tahms are supporting and sending DD on a course for children with low self esteem and anxiety. This does nt stop the damage that’s been down.
She’s just started Brownies, loves it.

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This is terrible. I am so sorry for you. I do think that the school should be able to help more. I hope you can get the appropriate help needed for you and your daughter to feel better and for the situation to improve.

[jndt]

I know how you feel on the playdate front. My 9 years ds is autistic and has recently started to feel really left out. We invited his one "friend" to tea after school but we got a thanks but no thanks! I told him they are busy at the moment and he could invite someone else but there isn't anyone. He has started saying he's strange and different thats why the boys at school think he's weird :'(

I have explained that we are all different and that he's not strange as there are lots of other people with autism but he still feels so different.

It's hard as he wants friends but doesn't know how.

One of the boys in the class had a party last month and invited all the boys except my son and one other - if she hadn't picked them all up I wouldn't have known. Why didn't she just book the party for a weekend?!

I don't have any answers op but please know you are not alone. Some people just can't see the gifts our children have to offer - their loss.

[TC Devon]

It’s hard. She desperately wants to be liked, spends her snack money
On her friends if they forget fruit. We’ve had endless play dates here (prior to the rumours). One got returned. She asks if she’s weird. She’s now trying to wear jeans so she’s not different- all the other girls wear them. She hates buttons and Weight of jeans.
She absolutely hates being aspie. Livid at me for telling her.
I just wish others could see past their quirks. I dont actually thinkits the children, I think it’s parents. Teachers say she’s never alone at playtime. At soft play she always makes friends. She is much better than her NT brother at making
friends.

[LadyFromage]

Originally Posted by TC Devon

It’s hard. She desperately wants to be liked, spends her snack money
On her friends if they forget fruit. We’ve had endless play dates here (prior to the rumours). One got returned. She asks if she’s weird. She’s now trying to wear jeans so she’s not different- all the other girls wear them. She hates buttons and Weight of jeans.
She absolutely hates being aspie. Livid at me for telling her.
I just wish others could see past their quirks. I dont actually thinkits the children, I think it’s parents. Teachers say she’s never alone at playtime. At soft play she always makes friends. She is much better than her NT brother at making
friends.

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I wish you lived closer. My dd is 13 and asd but my 7 year old is kind and paitent.

[DonnaD]

OP I really feel for you and your daughter. My oldest was only diagnosed with ASD at 14. She had seemed fine at her single form primary school. There were only 8 girls in her year and a very caring atmosphere. Her transition to secondary was horrific. She feels very strongly that an earlier diagnosis would have helped. Her generation seem to understand ASD and wouldn't have just considered her "odd". She actually gets mad at me if I don't tell people that she is autistic.

My younger daughter had an obviously ASD girl join her class in year 3. There were plenty of petty girls issues in that class over the years with 16 girls. The ASD girl was NOT excluded or bullied. Instead most of the class were very protective of her. I think the key was that her mother went in and explained to the class what issues she had in a way they could understand. I am not suggesting you should do the same but I don't think your daughter wanting to keep it secret will help. It is nothing to be ashamed of and hopefully CAMHS will help her realise this. Perhaps the teacher could explain it to the class if your daughter agrees.