Guilt spending money on myself

[Wee_Red]

He absolutely will go with you again in the future. Spend the money on yourself just now whilst you can.
If he chooses to have children down the line - that's all your money gone spoiling a whole new generation!

He'll be back in Orlando soon, go enjoy yourself with your hubby. You deserve it.

[Reereef]

Thank you all. I appreciate the kind words.

[Tweety1]

Originally Posted by Reereef

I wrote a little while ago that my seventeen year old son has decided not to come on holiday with us.

We have a month booked in Florida this summer, dividing our time between the Keys; Orlando and the parks; Disney’s Vero Beach and a Bahamian cruise on The Wish.

It’s a holiday to make up for all of the holidays we lost over covid, and one we probably will never do again…and he decides he’s not coming.

I’ve come to terms with that (just) and cancelled his flights etc, with some money back and some lost.

But now, after all of that, I am experiencing guilt that makes me feel sick and want to cry. This holiday is costing A LOT. It is such a lot of money to spend on DH and myself and I would never have indulged like this if I’d known we’d be going without him. We’ve saved hard for the holiday. We aren’t just rich.

DH has no guilt at all, refuses to scale back and sees this as our hard work and as for DS, well it’s his decision not to come, so tough.

But I’m having a hard time with it. I want to spend on DS to make up for it, but again, DH is not on the same page and feels that’s ridiculous.

As I said, it’s truly making me feel nauseas and taking some of the shine off the holiday. Has anyone got some common sense words for me, or even advice I won’t like.

Parenting sucks sometimes.

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No advice but just to say you aren’t alone. I am going to struggle massively with this . I can see it creeping in and tbh I really don’t like it. I’m dreading it! I know what you mean as you probably get the enjoyment from your DS enjoying himself hence the justification on cost (this is what I do). Your trip sounds amazing and hopefully after a couple of days you will get used to it. Have a great time!

[daytonababe]

My kids are 19 & 23 , they both are on holiday with us now , along with my sons girlfriend and my granddaughter.

There are times when neither has come , or just my daughter / granddaughter has come . I don’t feel guilty, it is our money after all , and we do buy them stuff when away .

[Reereef]

Originally Posted by daytonababe

My kids are 19 & 23 , they both are on holiday with us now , along with my sons girlfriend and my granddaughter.

There are times when neither has come , or just my daughter / granddaughter has come . I don’t feel guilty, it is our money after all , and we do buy them stuff when away .

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I’m sure we’ll buy him some gifts, I know he’ll want to be FaceTimed if we see any Jordan’s 🙂

[Reereef]

Originally Posted by Tweety1

No advice but just to say you aren’t alone. I am going to struggle massively with this . I can see it creeping in and tbh I really don’t like it. I’m dreading it! I know what you mean as you probably get the enjoyment from your DS enjoying himself hence the justification on cost (this is what I do). Your trip sounds amazing and hopefully after a couple of days you will get used to it. Have a great time!

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It crept in sooner than I anticipated…I mean, who turns down a Florida holiday 😆!
But hopefully after the first few days I’ll get used to it.
DH reckons that he’ll have some regrets not coming this year and he’ll be back in the plans for next…so wants to make the most of it 😂

[louiseybobs]

Life is too short for this type of guilt. Enjoy your time together 💕

[GoldenAvalanche]

You’re a person too. You don’t stop existing or become less important just because you’re a mother. I’ve told myself that from day one, it’s a healthy attitude to have not just for yourself but for your son too, it’s important for children (however old) to see parents prioritising themselves too sometimes, that’s how they will learn about self-care and empathy.

[ClaireNJ]

Well it’s your sons choice not to come isn’t it
Don’t beat yourself up about it
As kids get older they all want to do their own thing
Go and have a fantastic time 🇺🇸❤️X

[Pebblesuk]

He's just growing up, my children are in their 30's now but at 18 family holidays weren't cool and several years of wild holidays with friends followed, late 20's partners, children they have come back to holidaying with us when we go to Florida!
Let him go and he'll come back!