So I told my girlfriend

[cartoonp]

One from me

One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away. Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?" "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

[cartoonp]

Why are there no planes where Peter Pan lives?

Because there is a sign that says, “Never Neverland.”

[cartoonp]

Disney forgot Gaston's greatest accomplishment
He was a winner of the no belle prize.

[cartoonp]

here another Disney joke

Walt Disney notices a sharp pain in his knee.
He starts rubbing it, icing it, elevating it on a pillow. But over the following days it only grows worse. He visits his doctor and reports this pain.

“Which knee is hurting you, Walt?”

The famous film producer points to his left knee.

“Disney.”

[cartoonp]

Another

Patient: "Doctor, you've got to help me, some mornings I wake up and think I'm Donald Duck, other mornings I think I'm Mickey Mouse."

Doctor: "Hmmmmmmm, and how long have you been having these disney spells?"

[Mr Tom Morrow]

I need to diet.

[Mr Tom Morrow]

I'm worried now as I am also 64.

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your
over-64 year-old husband?

A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet
and all those wrinkles on my face?

A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out..

Q: What is the most common remark made by 64-plus
year olds when they enter antique stores?

A: "Gosh, I remember these!"

Q: Where can single men over the age of 64 find
younger women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.

[cartoonp]

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next visit to the loo could spell disaster.

[Mr Tom Morrow]

Originally Posted by cartoonp

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next visit to the loo could spell disaster.

See more...

Brilliant, best one for ages.

[cartoonp]

Thanks 😆