Children and funerals

[rudie111]

Hello Dibbers, my aunt recently passed away. My brother does not want to take his 14 year old daughter as he thinks its too young.

She had a good relationship with this family member and was quite upset when she passed away.

What age would you consider suitable to attend a funeral?

It will be a cremation not a burial.

Many thanks

[ClaireNJ]

I’m sorry for your loss ❤️
I think 14 is ok to go to a funeral, anyone over 10 maybe depending on their maturity & how close they were too
X

[alibeau]

It would depend on the maturity of the child but I would have said anything from 11/12 onwards?

Sorry for your loss x

Ali x

[Fluffypenguin]

I would say 10/11 onwards. At that age, they have an understanding that these things happen and they usually know what happens at funerals. Which is different to younger children who may not have an actual awareness of death yet.

[munmun]

I would say that there is no right age, the grieving process is multi faceted and frequently it is better for a child to go through the funeral process with the rest ofvthe family. This allows understanding of the facts of death which is part of life.

My young grandsons then 2 and 4 attended the memorial service for their much loved aged aunt. They listened to the lovely things said about her and talk lovingly about her now. There was an adult available to look after them if they didn't want to stay but they stayed and understood in their way.

I think the decision should be the young persons.

[Cherrypie]

I’d say it’s old enough but deffo the parents call x

[Twin mummy]

I’ve tended to ask the child if they want to go and what happens. Some people find funerals helpful as part of the grieving process whereas others don’t. It also depends on the adults that will be with them and how much support they would be able to give to the 14 year old whilst being upset themselves.

[Gill H]

Vicar’s daughter here, think I was about 7 for my first one and by 11 I was playing the organ for them. Grew up with them as a totally normal part of life.

[novocastrian]

My daughter was 13 when her Grandma passed away 3 years ago

she immediately asked if she could not attend as it would be too upsetting for her

100% upto the child

[munmun]

Originally Posted by Twin mummy

I’ve tended to ask the child if they want to go and what happens. Some people find funerals helpful as part of the grieving process whereas others don’t. It also depends on the adults that will be with them and how much support they would be able to give to the 14 year old whilst being upset themselves.

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I agree, sometimes we try to protect our children from sadness but actually seeing people sad when someone dies is not bad as long as it is dealt with properly with talk and