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17 Dec 19, 11:42 PM |
#1
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Imagineer
Join Date: Jul 14
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Dreading christmas Day, guest related!
How to handle this? Or just carry on ignoring and it brewing and brewing.
I should start by saying my dad is a lovely man, very chirpy and will do anything for anyone and spoils us and our kids. But, and its a big but that is becoming bigger, he never stops talking. EVER. It wouldnt be quite so bad if we could get a word in but he doesn't draw breath and if people do try to talk he talks over them. His conversations aren't that interesting to others (like yesterday he could of just said he drove back from London, instead he told us about every motorway and A roads he went on and about their speed limits and how busy they were compared to his last trip ) He repeats stories all the time. Even when you say 'oh yeah I remember you telling me before' he will continue to tell you again, even when you pre-empt what he is about to say. No difference at all When he phones up you get him talking at you for 30 mins about where hes been, who hes seen etc and several times not even noticed I had left the phone and gone to the toilet, put a wash etc on He split with my mum many years ago. She gets so annoyed with him that over the years she cant hid it (he jokes about it but doesn't get her attitude is due to him) He had a long term relationship that ended several years ago. She told me amongst other things, the major issue was his talking. She said the final straw was he didn't notice she hadn't said a single word for a whole weekend He has no sense of self awareness that he dominates all conversations, and no ability to read that people are bored. This is the first Christmas he is joining us for lunch as normally he goes to his parents but they are both now RIP. I am already getting groans from others. The kids and my mum have said they don't want to sit near him and my mums visit will be quicker than normal. My inlaws are coming. They are not talkers really, they are there to eat, and eat they do! Once my mil told my dad to stop talking and eat his dinner (they had finished their massive dinner before he was 1/4 way through as he talked non stop while they ate ) I am dreading it already. Im almost glad my left ear has blocked this week so I can only hear half as much...… So, any advice? Do you tell similar family to put a lid on it? Or keep it buried inside? Under piles of GnT? |
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17 Dec 19, 11:46 PM |
#2
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Imagineer
Join Date: Jul 14
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I have a work colleague covering maternity leave 2 days a week since August and she is exactly like this,I swear she must be breathing through gills.I know more about her than I do about another of my staff who I have worked with for over 20 years.I just think she is totally unaware of it and I don’t know how to broach it without being offensive.No help at all to you but I feel your pain 😪😪
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17 Dec 19, 11:53 PM |
#3
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Imagineer
Join Date: Aug 18
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Ah bless it sounds like he’s lonely. But I would tell him. I would sit him down or even hand him a letter so that he has to read it instead and hopefully he will understand. Not to stop talking but to learn how to do the conversation bit back and forth like when you teach your kids how to do it.
The other thing is some people don’t like silence. I work in a call centre and sometimes my computer is very slow. My manager once told me off for talking about random things and I should have sat in silence. I couldn’t not on the phone with a customer I just talked hopefully building a nice rapour but she couldn’t understand why I would do that. Talk to him before the festivities. It’s not gonna be enjoyable if everyone else is already not wanting him there cos of too much talking. |
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17 Dec 19, 11:53 PM |
#4
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Imagineer
Join Date: Jun 08
Location: Lake District
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My MIL was like that, never ever came up for air.
I'd just let him get on with it, it's only for the day and you aren't responsible for his behaviour. Possibly steer him into more entertaining anecdotes. Good luck. |
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18 Dec 19, 12:03 AM |
#5
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Imagineer
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Just a thought but do you know if he has had his hearing checked? My MIL is like that but she is quite deaf and has come to the conclusion that if she keeps talking, people don’t notice how little she hears and she doesn’t have to try and listen to them if they can’t get a word in.
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18 Dec 19, 12:07 AM |
#6
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Imagineer
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My FIL is similar to this and getting worse! I wouldn't say he never stops talking but when there's a conversation it's very one sided and as soon as you do get a word in, he switches off and shows no interest in what you have to say! He also interrupts if you are in the middle of saying something!
He tells us the same story many times as well! I put it down to a nerves thing! FIL can be quite shy and I think talkin g helps him! I agree though, it does get very frustrating!
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Christmas/New Year 1999/2000 Indian Ridge Villa, May 2001 Fort Lauderdale /I Drive/Port Charlotte/Key West/Miami, May 2005 Westhaven Villa, April 2006 Rotunda Villa/Highlands Reserve Villa, June 2007 Sanibel Villa/Grand Cypress Villas, Christmas/New Year 2010/2011 Lake Wilson Preserve Villa, July/Aug 2012 reunion resort villa, Nov 2012 new York new York! |
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18 Dec 19, 01:24 AM |
#7
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Imagineer
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My mam was like that and sometimes we would just say take a breath and shush. We lost her 8 years ago and I would love for her to be here and listen to her talk again, life is so quiet without her I never thought I’d miss her going on but I do lots
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18 Dec 19, 04:39 AM |
#8
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Guest
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My Dad is a bit like this. He will let people speak but doesn’t really listen to what they’re saying half the time.
He also does this really annoying “Laura said X, Y Z” and I sit there thinking I’ve said nothing of the sort lol. It’s usually stuff like “Laura said she bought this soup” so I just go along with it now as does DH cos he’s used to it. Perhaps if he starts talking when other people are already in conversation, finish your conversation first then ask what he wanted to say. Kinda like teaching kids to take turns. Lol. |
18 Dec 19, 04:53 AM |
#9
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Imagineer
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Be patient x
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18 Dec 19, 04:59 AM |
#10
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Apprentice Imagineer
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I feel your pain. My FIL was the same although not quite so bad. Mind you some one did say loudly in the cinema once “if that silly old fool doesn’t stop talking I’m going to punch him”. He actually did stop so maybe threats of violence are you best bet. That or toffee.
I’d probably try and have a word but no idea how I’d broach it. Probably blunt and clear is the best way if you want to be listened to! Good luck |
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