Advice please. Head teacher said Santa doesn't exist

[weeleighluigi]

Hi all,

My daughter (who is 7) told me the other day that her head teacher told her "Santa and the tooth fairy don't exist, it is just your parents".

My daughter has anxiety issues, sensory issues and also is waiting on autism assessments. She was quite upset.

I went in and spoke to her teacher who said that he heard her say it. And I have arranged by email, a meeting with her for this afternoon. She has already said sorry for what she said in the email.

Any advice on how I handle today's meeting so i don't go mental at her? Lol

I need her to know that it was a very poor judgement on her hand. I work in a high school, and honestly it's still not something I would say out loud in a high school. Just in case. It is definatly not her place to tell my daughter this!

I'm not sure what I want out the meeting other than to let her know how furious I am.

[Loopylooloo]

I would try not to be furious and more to convey your sadness and disappointment that someone else has spoilt the magic for your daughter, I dont think its right for any grown up to do this to a child that is not theirs.

[weeleighluigi]

Loopylooloo.
Thanks. Yes I am furious but i won't go in like the hulk. Lol. I intend to let her know I am sad and disapointed.
To be honest I'm so shocked about it. Even our almost teenager, grumpy at everything unless it's beneficial to herself daughter keeps up the premise of Santa and the tooth fairy for our youngest.

[disney332]

Tell your daughter Santa still exists, only for those who believe.

Let her watch The Polar Express and upon playing tell her, if she can hear the bell at the end, Santa will come.

As for the teacher, i would express your distain in a calm and controlled way, and remind her there are clear lines between teaching and parenting that should not be crossed.

Disney332

EDIT - buy a bell for her stocking - Love from Santa x

[weeleighluigi]

Thanks disney332.

I will do that... she recently got a tv and DVD player in her room. We have Jack Wellington on her list of things to watch... I will keep the 'theme' going by watching polar express with her. Great idea, she has never seen It!

[MillyMoo]

Wow, I'd be feeling furious about that - I'd want to know why she felt the need to say it to all the children! I know not all celebrate xmas, or the tooth fairy, but it's not her business to tell all the children that, I bet some of them were heartbroken!

[darbs]

Originally Posted by disney332

Tell your daughter Santa still exists, only for those who believe.

Let her watch The Polar Express and upon playing tell her, if she can hear the bell at the end, Santa will come.

As for the teacher, i would express your distain in a calm and controlled way, and remind her there are clear lines between teaching and parenting that should not be crossed.

Disney332

EDIT - buy a bell for her stocking - Love from Santa x

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This is a great idea, OP if your daughter hasn't seen the film she will love it and hopefully it will help keep the magic. I am really surprised that this was said by a headteacher, hope your meeting goes well x

[Disney Jo]

I would be furious and questions I would like answered (properly and not just with a sorry):
1 - why she felt the need to share that with children?
2 - did she think it was the right thing to do?
3 - remind her (like someone else said) the line between being a teacher and parent
4 - what she plans to do to rectify the situation? i.e advise the children & show them a letter she received from Santa that tells her she has been naughty and is currently on the naughty list for when she told them all he wasn't real! Tell the children the story of St Nicholas!

Hope it all goes well.

[Guest]

Sorry no advice on the meeting but I would be furious too! I know my dd would be devastated! Why on earth did she think that was a good thing to say to young children?

[FlorayG]

While I don't personally think children should be asked to believe in supernatural beings I agree that it isn't the teacher's position to correct anything your child believes. That's just not their business.

You might use the argument that if you'd wanted your child specifically to be educated in what to believe then you would have sent her to a religious school (...although of course that argument isn't going to work if you already do )