If you can eat it you should eat it - September/October 2014

[adamtoonarmy]

Roller Coaster Practice - Thorpe Park

Trip Index can be found here
Pre Trippie Update 1 is here
Pre Trippie update 2 is here
Harry Potter Studios Tour is here

Welcome everybody and its time for another update. This time its my trip to Thorpe Park for some Roller Coaster practice. Anyone who has read my previous ramblings will remember that back in June me, DD and DW had a week away in our caravan on a site in Henley on Thames. This facilitated my visit to the Harry Potter Studios Tour (link above) and todays visit to Thorpe Park.

While I love a coaster and never miss an opportunity to ride one there was another reason for my visit today. Again, if you have read my pre trippies you will remember that I have lost a lot of weight in the last year. One of the motivating factors for me was that I struggled to fit into the big boy seats on the rides in Florida last year. So for today I decided that I was going to try for normal seats (i.e. not big boy ones) on all of the coasters.

So this time DW accompanied me while DD remained in the caravan with the West Highland Terrier. It was Theme Park Commando time today and we were up and out early, arriving at the entrance to Thorpe Park at 9.30am, half an hour before park opening at 10. I had pre ordered our tickets and a fastpass type thing for me for the coasters. Unfortunately the pick up your tickets place didn't open until about 2 minutes before the park did so it was about 10:05 when we got in. We hotfooted it over to Thorpes most recent addition to the park, The Swarm.

Now for those of you that haven't been to Thorpe its basically a load of rides packed onto a small concrete island in the Thames. Scenic it is not. Anyone who has seen the lush grounds and immaculate gardens of Thorpes sister park, Alton Towers is in for a shock if they come here. Fantastic thrill rides it has, scenery it does not.

Saying that though the theming for The Swarm is fantastic. The idea is that a swarm of something has descended on Thorpe leaving a trail of devastation behind it.









Now something that was patently obvious throughout today is that I was most certainly not at Disney World. When I did see staff members they were miserable and withdrawn. There was nobody on any of the coasters directing people to rows. This led to utter chaos on the loading platforms and trains going around with empty spaces. Not good Thorpe - sort yourselves out.

Anyway, back to the swarm. There was no wait time posted (and nowhere FOR it to be posted) so I joined the queue. It took about 20 minutes for me to get to the loading platform. I got to the point where I was going to be on the next train when I happened to look to my right, toward the front of the loading platform. I realised that if I shifted my butt up to the front row and waited one more train then I would get the front row right hand seat. My pre visit research told me that this was the best seat on the ride.

So it was dilemma time. Long ago, in days dark past I was utterly fearless with roller coasters.I would ride anything, anytime in any seat as many times as I could. Sadly no more. This was a new type of ride for me, The Swarm is a winged roller coaster. You sit in a seat to the side of the track, there is nothing above you and nothing below you. On top of that The Swarm, at the top of the lift hill, very slowly turns you upside down before dropping you, inverted, down the first drop. Bottom line is I was nervous to say the least. My mouth was dry and I was lightly perspiring. If I chickened out however and went for a regular seat I would have kicked myself later on for being a big softy. What was also likely is that I would make myself return later and go on the front row anyway. So with a sigh at my own ridiculousness I hauled butt up to the front row. Just before I rode a young lady saw that I would be riding alone and as she was also on her own she asked if she could ride with me. Of course I said, as long as you dont mind my Roller Coaster tourettes I informed her. So I strapped myself in the very comfortable restraints and waited. Up the lift hill we went and I was slowly tipped on my head with only the restraints to lean on. Terrifying but brilliant. What a great coaster.





So slightly wobbly we hotfooted it over to Stealth. By the way if anyone is wondering why I am riding the coasters alone its because DW hurt her shoulder a couple of years ago and now doesn't do rides with over the shoulder restraints. She was absolutely gutted that she couldn't do The Swarm though as she really fancied it. We were here in 2009 and she rode all of the other coasters then.

So onto Stealth, well not quite. DW was hungry so we nipped in a close by shop. We then took a seat and ate our breakfast of champions. Crisps and smarties. So much for Weight Watchers today.


Ahhh, smarties - thats better.

So Stealth then. A very short but thrilling coaster with a launched start. For the Orlando visitors among you the start is very similar to Rock n Roller Coaster. This is the sister coaster of Alton Towers Rita and was built by the same company Intamin, who specialise in launched coasters. Stealth launches you from 0 - 80 mph in 1.9 seconds then shoots you straight up the side of a 200 foot hill where you just about make it over the top before plummeting down the other side. Fantastic if short. For reference Rock n Roller coaster launches you from 0 - 57 mph in 2.8 seconds and the Hulk shoots you to 40 mph in 2 seconds.



The queues were building up now and when I picked my fastpass thingy up that morning the staff member grunted at me that they weren't valid until the afternoon. So we had a wonder around the shops

Found one of the rubber sharks from the sadly defunct Jaws ride at Universal Studios.

and sat about in the sun looking slightly camp

Before we decided on an early lunch. We nipped in the nearby BBQ place at 11am and it looked like it had just opened. It meant that we were on our own in there and the food was hot and fresh. 2 Peri peri chicken burgers with waffle fries and coleslaw.

Only 12 pro points on Weight Watchers. Probably

So stuffed to the gills I thought I would have a look at me fastpass thingamabob and see what was what with it.
OMG - I got a shock. That lunch maybe wasnt such a good idea!



5 coasters in 2 hours!

So we had another wonder about and at 12.55 I tried my luck at the entrance to Nemesis Inferno and was let in. This is a suspended looping coaster made by roller coaster manufacturer Bolliger and Mabilard. Inferno is the sister coaster of Nemesis at Alton Towers and while it shares similarities it isnt quite as good. Its Orlando equivalents are the two Tournament of the Dragon coasters at Islands of Adventure or Montu at Busch Gardens Tampa.

[adamtoonarmy]

I was off by 13.10 so we wondered over to Colossus where I had a bit of a wait. I havent got any photos of the actual ride but its a pretty standard coaster with 10 inversions. When it opened in 2002 it held the world record for the most inversions on a coaster. Incidentally that record is now held by The Smiler at Thorpes sister park Alton Towers with 14 inversions.


Again I was off by 13.40. OK next up - Saw the ride. We wondered over to find the ride down and several cars motionless on the track. I walked over to a staff member who told me that he had just had word that the ride was going to start testing soon so I could hang around or I could come back at any time through the day. I hung about and sure enough ten minutes later they reopened the queue.

Now then, Saw the ride. Again fantastic theming. That being said though this is a ride themed on an unpleasant (and not very good imho) torture porn horror franchise. While the ride itself is good the overall experience is deeply unpleasant. The queue line is adorned with torture props from the film while things go bang to make you jump. Its also dark and dingy in there. The coaster is a Gerstlauer Eurofighter and runs several small cars which have two rows of four riders in each. It has a beyond vertical first drop which you can see below. The ride starts with that doll off the films promising you a slow painful death before you plunge down a short drop which looks for certain to be going to run you onto a wall of spikes. Nice. Next you are very slowly inverted with your head ending up about 3 foot off the ground. This gives you a smashing view of a mutilated body which spurts blood (water) at you. Sigh, not really necessary. Then your off outside and you stop at the bottom of the vertical lift which reminded me of Rip Ride Rockit at Universal Studios. Some screens sprang to life at the side of the lift and I was again promised certain death before we were off. Now all that nonsense was out of the way we could get on with what is a very thrilling and smooth coaster.

When I came off I caught up with the Mrs and realised that I was shaking and altogether wobbly. I really didn't enjoy the experience on Saw even though the ride itself is good.
Another thing dawned on me at that point. My coaster legs had gone. This happens to me these days when my body tells me "come on you nutter, you are 42 what the hell are you playing at?"
I considered binning my last two fastpasses but in the end I powered through. Back to The Swarm next followed by Stealth and after a brief interlude where DW had decided that she could vacate our agreed meeting place and expect me to find her by using a Vulcan mind meld we were off. A brief stop for a slushie (it was hot today) and some overpriced merch and it was back to the car.

I enjoyed my day despite the miserable staff and none existent customer service but Thorpe is a strange place. It doesn't seem right where it is, right in the middle of a built up area.

Anyway - good news, I fitted in all of the regular seats with room to spare.

Next coaster will be in Florida yay!

Part 5 - 65 Days to go can be found here

[peachywish]

Completely agree with how poor the staff are. When you compare it to the likes of Disney World you realise how much good staff who look after the queue properly and crack their face into a smile really make a difference! It's such a shame! Glad you had a good day overall though - looking forward to reading your next update!

[smedley]

I've still not made it to Thorpe, although I was considering it at some point this season as I have merlin staff tickets. Might have to give it a go, although based on your description I will *not* be riding Saw :/

[SunbreezeFL]

We went to Thorpe last weekend - have to say we had quite low expectations as many people had said to us it isn't a patch on Alton Towers. We loved it - my DS and DH are coaster addicts so it suited them perfectly. We will be visiting again.

[adamtoonarmy]

Originally Posted by SunbreezeFL

We went to Thorpe last weekend - have to say we had quite low expectations as many people had said to us it isn't a patch on Alton Towers. We loved it - my DS and DH are coaster addicts so it suited them perfectly. We will be visiting again.

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The quality of the rides and the coasters inparticular cant be questioned

[Lardzilla]

Wow. Never been to Thorpe Park and after reading that I'm still not sure I'm sold. Don't get me wrong I love coasters ( but have the same coaster legs as you now - it sounds like) but I do like a bit of something else to do in my theme park outings.

Good read though mate.

[sungiggs]

great day