Funerals and not having one

[djewkes]

My mums funeral (7 years ago) cost £5.5k, not cheapest coffin (2nd cheapest) 2 cars + hearst, 1 x floral display, service at the crem, and we did the wake... no funeral plan in place...
Moneysavingexpert advises shopping around but how many of us do that? My mum had died I wasn’t in the mind to be quibbling and bartering!

[Holidaylover19]

I don't care, I won't be here to comment on the flower display or whatever. Stick me in a Tesco bag.

[ChrisS]

Originally Posted by EssexSue

That certainly seems expensive Chris. We paid less that for all of our more traditional funerals, not of course counting the hotel wake afterwards. Do you think they charged more because of Covid?

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No Sue, they both set up the same pre-paid plan years ago - no additional costs requested when dad died in June. Actually Sue the plan also didn't include dad starting from home but the undertaker took it upon himself to bring him 100 yards off the main road to their home, most kind as many neighbours lined the cul-de-sac to say their farewells. Based on Di's comment re her mother's £5.5k funeral I wonder if the c£6kpp was the price at that time. Could it be funeral prices have reduced? I doubt it, perhaps we're becoming more aware of simple crem prices.

Originally Posted by djewkes

My mums funeral (7 years ago) cost £5.5k, not cheapest coffin (2nd cheapest) 2 cars + hearst, 1 x floral display, service at the crem, and we did the wake... no funeral plan in place...
Moneysavingexpert advises shopping around but how many of us do that? My mum had died I wasn’t in the mind to be quibbling and bartering!

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Hi Di - hence why I'm looking into simple crems of c£1.5k for hubs and I to pre-pay. The service your mother received involved more than dad's contract (plus two cars and a crem service).

As always, best to you Di

[ChrisS]

Originally Posted by Holidaylover19

I don't care, I won't be here to comment on the flower display or whatever. Stick me in a Tesco bag.

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You snob, what's wrong with a Lidl or Aldi bag

Bang on the nail tho Emma, why lash out thousands when you won't even be there

[Donaldfan]

I'm not having one. I've put it in my Will.

[amy56]

Originally Posted by Donaldfan

I'm not having one. I've put it in my Will.

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Without sounding morbid - what happens first when someone dies? I assume you register the death and then how do you go about finding out someone’s wishes? Do you go to the solicitor to see what the will says about funerals etc?

I’m sorry to ask, but as many of you know, my mum is terminally ill and is in the latter stages of her disease. Mentally she is really struggling at the thought of dying and the last thing I can or want to do is try to talk to her about funeral details etc.

I was just interested to see you’ve put your wishes in the will, as in my head, the will was something sorted out after the funeral (but I have literally no experience of dealing with this sort of thing and so I’m just basing my understanding on tv soaps where wills get read weeks after a funeral, so I’m sure not accurate of real life!) 😢

[Colette-S]

Originally Posted by amy56

Without sounding morbid - what happens first when someone dies? I assume you register the death and then how do you go about finding out someone’s wishes? Do you go to the solicitor to see what the will says about funerals etc?

I’m sorry to ask, but as many of you know, my mum is terminally ill and is in the latter stages of her disease. Mentally she is really struggling at the thought of dying and the last thing I can or want to do is try to talk to her about funeral details etc.

I was just interested to see you’ve put your wishes in the will, as in my head, the will was something sorted out after the funeral (but I have literally no experience of dealing with this sort of thing and so I’m just basing my understanding on tv soaps where wills get read weeks after a funeral, so I’m sure not accurate of real life!) 😢

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So sorry about your Mum, can’t imagine how difficult it is for you. When someone is terminally ill they can set out a plan - where they would like to be when the time comes, what type of funeral they would like. I think it’s called a living will but I’m not certain.
It’s a terrible conversation to have and we were lucky to have support from Macmillan and the hospice when writing the plan but we felt relieved afterwards. Maybe there could be some support for you if you don’t want to have the conversation yourself. There is help on various websites - Macmillan, AgeUK, NHS

[Feebee2]

My husband has had his funeral planned for months. We've even been to the crematorium twice to rehearse it. Can you tell he's a musician!