Am I being unfair!

[Joshie1]

Happy Birthday OP.
I’m so sorry you have been hurt and disappointed by your DD. Kids can be so totally thoughtless and I think it hurts terribly when you go all out for them in similar circumstances. You would like to think that some of your consideration for others would rub off on them.

[gasp0de]

Happy Birthday, I do understand why you are disappointed, I've been with my DH well over 30 years and when it comes to my birthday or Christmas he looks round the house to see what needs replacing. I have received iron and ironing board, tea towels, saucepans, curtains, loo brush holder and spot lights for the kitchen. But at least he remembers and the thought is there 🙂 Perhaps your daughter was short of money or remembered at the last minute so was a rush buy, she did remember however xx

[Lola]

My mother once gave me a bag of cheap tealights for Christmas - and she wrapped them in the plastic wrapper from a pack of loo rolls. I would have welcomed the air freshener and chocolates that year.

[g1970]

Do you use air fresheners around the house? Perhaps your DD thought it was something you liked rather than a necessity picked up with the weekly shopping.

Does your DD work? If her finances are tight, what would be an acceptable gift?

As already mentioned, think carefully about confronting her. I still recall how I felt when my mum told me my dad was very disappointed with a Bruce Springstein book I had bought when I was about 18 (the book was small and I was a student at the time). I felt awful, as I had spent a lot of time looking for something I thought he would like.

That was 31 years ago and recall how it made me feel like it was yesterday...but I could not tell you how he's reacted to any presents I've bought since (that have been requested).

[vowels]

Originally Posted by Lola

My mother once gave me a bag of cheap tealights for Christmas - and she wrapped them in the plastic wrapper from a pack of loo rolls. I would have welcomed the air freshener and chocolates that year.

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Your face must have been a picture!

[pinman_uk]

happy birthday

could it be a joke ,and a better gift is being kept secret ?

may be you have a surprize party and your family wants to put you off

[anna68]

I’d be absolutely gutted if that was my gift. I am well aware I value thoughtful gifts and many don’t. But buying a gift for a birthday isn’t actually about the thing your buying imo and actually about showing you care. To show you care you have to actually think. At 21 I would expect more. May sound harsh but they may as well have just not bought you anything!

[salmim]

Originally Posted by gasp0de

Happy Birthday, I do understand why you are disappointed, I've been with my DH well over 30 years and when it comes to my birthday or Christmas he looks round the house to see what needs replacing. I have received iron and ironing board, tea towels, saucepans, curtains, loo brush holder and spot lights for the kitchen. But at least he remembers and the thought is there 🙂 Perhaps your daughter was short of money or remembered at the last minute so was a rush buy, she did remember however xx

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Made me laugh. Brilliant.

Never forget about 50 odd years ago my dad bought my mum a frying pan.😂

All I heard over Christmas was "it's this fancy no stick thing called Teflon!" 😂😂

[Guest]

Originally Posted by greekgranny

Everybody is castigating the daughter for her gift, which does seem a little strange but until she is asked why she bought it is is unfair. She may have had a genuine reason for buying it, with no intention of hurt

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I just cannot get on with that reasoning. Surely every single adult human knows you don't buy air freshener for anybody as a birthday present. What next? Bottle of washing up liquid? Dusters? Loo roll? You don't need to analyse the situation that much to know this is inappropriate.

She would have been better off just giving the chocolates.

[mitch84]

Originally Posted by salmim

Made me laugh. Brilliant.

Never forget about 50 odd years ago my dad bought my mum a frying pan.😂

All I heard over Christmas was "it's this fancy no stick thing called Teflon!" 😂😂

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That would be a great present for me! I love a new pan