Selective mutism in a young child

[TC Devon]

Hello
Does anyone have a young child with selective mutism if so please can I pick your brains.
Thank you

[Disneyphile]

My DS did when he started school. He is 6 and in year 2 and seems to be over it now after having seeing a speech therapist. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions I may be able to help with.

[TC Devon]

I’m having huge problems with my 4 yo son. Disasterous play date today. How do I help him? What did you do? We ve been referred to paed but it’s a years wait. So I dread to think how long speech therapy will take.
Thanks

[Disneyphile]

It’s awful that you are having to wait so long to be referred 🙁
The advice we were given is to not make a big out of it. Tell others that your son likely won’t talk to them and not to put any pressure on him to talk. If he does talk, again don’t make a big deal out of it. This was always really hard for me as when he did talk I wanted to give him a big hug and tell him well done!
We were given some books on Mindfulness for children and used to read them with him each night to help him relax and ease his anxiety.
Do you know what may have triggered it? For my son we moved to a new area and he was half way through his final year at nursery. He stopped talking to nursery staff once we moved. It got so bad for a short while that he wouldn’t even talk to my parents and he had a massive panic attack at school a couple of times.

[TC Devon]

Originally Posted by Disneyphile

It’s awful that you are having to wait so long to be referred 🙁
The advice we were given is to not make a big out of it. Tell others that your son likely won’t talk to them and not to put any pressure on him to talk. If he does talk, again don’t make a big deal out of it. This was always really hard for me as when he did talk I wanted to give him a big hug and tell him well done!
We were given some books on Mindfulness for children and used to read them with him each night to help him relax and ease his anxiety.
Do you know what may have triggered it? For my son we moved to a new area and he was half way through his final year at nursery. He stopped talking to nursery staff once we moved. It got so bad for a short while that he wouldn’t even talk to my parents and he had a massive panic attack at school a couple of times.

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He has nt been diagnosed yet. They ve just referred. I think Gp suspects autism as his sister has it. I think selective mutism. He does nt melt down like her. Although I know the spectrum is wide.
I’m not sure what triggered it. He has always been shy. He was a late talker(lots of ear problems) and a big dribbler. If he does talk he uses a squeaky baby voice- not at home with us. At home he uses a normal voice. He hardly talks to any family. He has a very small circle of people he trusts. Talking at school is on his terms.
Like you I want to celebrate when he talks. I will stop rewarding talking. Stop making it a thing.
What were the mindfulness books called?
He gets out of Pre school and he chats away like crazy. He is better with children but if he thinks an adult is listening he shuts up.
What with my daughter and her asd and issues around that and my son with this. I’m feeling a little bit stressed. I seem to constantly be sorting something.
I have nt told family except grandparents and my siblings about my daughter’s autism. Guess I need to tell them about my son and my daughter.
Sorry for the ramble 😬

[Picalily]

Hi, my daughter had this years ago, she is now in her 30's. She would only speak in our home, and then only to immediate family living in the house, she would not speak to her grandparents but loved to see them. She would not speak outside the house at all even to me. We saw loads of professionals but nothing worked, she never spoke at school not even to answer the register. This takes some willpower! When she started secondary school she gradually started to speak to a few selected people and then she gradually widened this. She is quite happy to speak to anyone now. It is a long tunnel but she came out the other end OK. There is no quick and easy solution and we were advised not to make a big thing about it and mainly just accept her as she was. Good luck.

[Disneyphile]

“Meditation is an open sky” and “sitting still like a frog” were two of the books we found useful. I’ve tried having a look on Amazon to remind myself of the other books but I can’t find them.
The speech therapist also recommended trying some mindfulness for children videos on YouTube. We tried a couple but DS just giggled the whole way through.
My DS wouldn’t talk to any teachers so if they wanted to hear him read they had to ask him to read to one of his friends whilst they listened in. Once he left school he wouldn’t stop talking, it was like he had to get out all the words that he hadn’t said during the day!
I’m not sure if it is related but he had a sudden improvement once he started dancing lessons. It seems that it gave him lots of confidence.