How much xmas/ special birthdays

[Sandra & co]

How much do you spend on adult kids for Christmas that have partners or who are married? How much for 30th birthdays, got to send my son and dil money and don’t want to be a meanie! My other two have £200 each for Christmas and sometimes I go over a bit but they get things from other family members. Once grandkids come then they will get the money spent on them and £50 each on the parents. I thought £200 each for Christmas and £300 for my sons 30th, no wrong or right answer I just want to know. Keep it friendly please xx

[MillyMoo]

I dont really set a budget for the kids at xmas, some years they get more spent on them than others. It all depends on what they've asked for or what I'd like to buy them

[munmun]

Originally Posted by Sandra & co

How much do you spend on adult kids for Christmas that have partners or who are married? How much for 30th birthdays, got to send my son and dil money and don’t want to be a meanie! My other two have £200 each for Christmas and sometimes I go over a bit but they get things from other family members. Once grandkids come then they will get the money spent on them and £50 each on the parents. I thought £200 each for Christmas and £300 for my sons 30th, no wrong or right answer I just want to know. Keep it friendly please xx

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Sandra, I think you're a great Mum and you shouldn't question your own judgement.

The answer is going to depend on how wealthy you are, some people will spend hundreds or even thousands others will spend a fiver, neither is wrong.

I will probably end up spending about £100 pounds each on my two children their spouses and my four grandchildren. If they need/ want something more or less that's fine. They get a main present and some bits but it will probably come to about £100.

DIL likes national trust membership so gets that, son has bought some tech device so will get cash for that some socks and a giant toblerone. Two of the boy grandchildren will get Lego etc etc.

[Bootrip2]

Its always difficult with grown up children! So much easier when they are small! My step son and his girlfriend will get a hamper with some goodies in and a token Amazon card, she is a consultant so earns more than twice what i do! My other 2 DS get about the same, some clothes, odds and ends and amazon voucher for £50, they really dont need alot. Everyones situation is so different, good luck with deciding!x

[Pumpkin Pie]

I also don’t think there is right or wrong - it’s what you want to give and how much you can afford. The only thing I have ever felt strongly about is that my sons are treated equally.

We don’t spend a lot on our grown up children for birthdays or Christmas (in fact we now do a secret Santa in the family so that doesn’t come into it) BUT we have given them quite large sums of money at other times. We inherited some money not that long ago for instance and split most of it between them.

To be honest if i go overboard it’s with my young grandchildren - you will be the same once they come!

[Helen J]

My In laws give both their sons and their wives (including me obviously) £60 each for both Christmas and birthdays. The 3 grand kids get around £75 each.

My sister gives her 2 adult kids £200 each for Christmas and birthdays, but their partners get considerably less, probably about £50.

I used to get around £150 off my mom, but she died over 20 years ago.

We've only got 1 child, so we can afford to give him a lot more. I think £200 is definitely not mean, I'm sure they will be very happy with that. In our family we usually got a bit more for special birthdays.

[princess allie]

I have one adult son and a 12 year old. I generally give them around £100 each for Christmas, unless it’s for something they really want or need i.e a new bike etc., for birthdays it’s usually about £50. I also do stockings for everyone and buy both some clothes and other bits. My Mum used to give all her kids and their spouses £50 until she died last year and dh Dad gives everyone £25 (but he’s a pensioner on a tight budget so that’s very generous). I also pay for both my boys mobile phone contracts, so we tend to spread things out, rather than giving large amounts at a set time.

Sandra, I definitely think your kids would be very happy with what you have suggested, you are definitely nowhere near being a “meanie” xx

[maidmarian]

Its whatever you can afford and are happy with Xx

[ClaireNJ]

WOW Sandra you’re not a meanie 😉
Now both boys have their own homes & families, we only give them £50 each, same for the DIL’s, we treat them the same for Christmas.
The Grandkids will get the same maybe a bit more, by the time they get extra bits & bobs, both boys when I asked what their children want for Christmas they said Cash to put in their ISA’s 💰💰
For his 30th we gave him £100 with some presents, both our boys are not really fussed about it which is the same as me & Hubbie, we don’t bother, just shop when we want & get our own stuff 🛍🛍

[maidmarian]

Originally Posted by ClaireNJ

WOW Sandra you’re not a meanie 😉
Now both boys have their own homes & families, we only give them £50 each, same for the DIL’s, we treat them the same for Christmas.
The Grandkids will get the same maybe a bit more, by the time they get extra bits & bobs, both boys when I asked what their children want for Christmas they said Cash to put in their ISA’s 💰💰
For his 30th we gave him £100 with some presents, both our boys are not really fussed about it which is the same as me & Hubbie, we don’t bother, just shop when we want & get our own stuff 🛍🛍

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I agree Claire she's no meanie... I think Sandra's very generous Xx