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Old 13 Sep 21, 12:23 PM  
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alibeau
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I am a warrior but... DD has anorexia...

Am I allowed to have an off day please?

DD was finally diagnosed with Anorexia at our appointment on Friday. DD disagrees with this diagnosis, she feels that she just starting to eat less due to anxiety reducing her appetite... nevertheless due to her BMI(14) etc they have to treat her for the worst case scenario and the CAMHS lady said she would be happy to be proven wrong!

DD has been told no school for the next six weeks and we have been given a strict meal planner to stick to with a follow up in six weeks and weekly appointments in the meantime locally. She is gutted as she was desperate to get back to school and felt she had gradually been starting to eat more of her own accord, counselling is/was helping with her anxiety but it just wasn't quick enough progress unfortunately.

We've had an very emotional weekend with hours of conversation and debate about it all, I am exhausted and can feel my anxiety kicking in.

I just feel today that my life has turned into one big sob story since the loss of my DD1 in 2019. I was adamant that I was not going to be that person that people feel sorry for but here I am and I hate it

Any yet equally here I am, sharing my 'sob story' on a public forum, I think I am losing my marbles

Please share your most tackiest cliches and words of wisdom with me to perk up my day, the tackier the better

Ali x
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Old 13 Sep 21, 12:30 PM  
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Blue nose
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No words of wisdom but wanted to say you are amazing. Everything you've been though and still going through.

You're definitely allowed an off day and the Dibb is the best place to share.

Sending hugs xx
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Old 13 Sep 21, 12:42 PM  
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duchy
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The darkest hour is before the dawn
I know how you feel (that one drove me NUTS !)
Some girls would love to be thin (Eh whaaaaaaat)
Itíll be a great big beautiful tomorrow (amlíll now have that ear worm all day now!)

I was super thin in my teens , I was really active and just used to forget to eat sometimes , plus burned calories like crazy with stress and anxiety . It used to drive me crazy when eating disorders were suggested as I knew whether I ate a lot or a little I remained stick thin so whilst anorexia shouldnít be ruled out , your daughter might have a point . I dropped down to just over six stone at one point , looking back I looked awful but felt fine but that low was caused by stress . Maybe focus on hidden calories like full cream milk, cook with butter, more carbs etc combined with stress reducing strategies , triggering endorphins . I used to get fed up with people telling me to eat more when I had eaten a normal amount and didnít want more.Years later I discovered my thyroid was probably a contributing factor so make sure theyíve checked that too,

Hang on in there, this too shall pass xxxx

Edited at 12:52 PM.
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Old 13 Sep 21, 12:44 PM  
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Loopylooloo
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Donít feel bad for sharing or for worrying itís completely natural especially when its our children. I am glad that your daughter is getting the support she needs, I hope that she can recover soon, such an awful condition to suffer from and very complex. I am sure other people here can help more with advice, but also important to look after yourself you have been through a lot, its no wonder you feek like this, we are human not superheroes! (Except MH)

Big hugs x
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Old 13 Sep 21, 12:52 PM  
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TartanTink
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You have been through such a lot in the last few years that you are understandably needing some support so never feel you cannot share here. Your daughter is getting some help so that is positive, it can be hard to get help so managing that is to be celebrated although it may not feel like it at the moment. Make sure you make sometime for yourself too and remember you always have somewhere to share here. Sending you a big hug 💕
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Old 13 Sep 21, 12:54 PM  
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Colette-S
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Aaah Ali Iím so sorry to hear this, you all deserve some brighter days. However, since you lost Abby you have just been amazing. Despite the worst possible thing happening youíve continued to get up and on with life, mainly for the sake of your other daughter. Your attitude and courage have been inspirational.
While you donít deserve to be going through any more trauma whatís really important is that you have recognised your daughter has an issue and you are getting the right help. Iím sure it will be a hard road but you will get through it as and she as the best possible support with you as her mum.
Start planning that Disney Christmas tree/theme again - we are all dying to see what you do this year ❤️
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Old 13 Sep 21, 12:57 PM  
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amy56
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The pain of watching your children suffer and not being able to solve things is the worst, and you more than anyone Iíve Ďspokení to know that ❤️❤️- I can only say that there is no pity party here, I am just in awe of you - you are incredible and are entitled to off days, heck knowing what youíve had on your plate, makes me ashamed of myself and my reasons for having my own off days!

I think Duchy has given some great advice, and whilst obviously you need to take any worries seriously, perhaps her post can give another perspective, and give you some hope too?

I want to reach out and give you the biggest of hugs - donít forget how incredible you are, be kind to yourself - and off days are certainly allowed! ❤️❤️❤️
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Old 13 Sep 21, 01:01 PM  
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Sandra & co
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I have no words of wisdom but you are doing your best and getting help for your daughter, losing your other daughter must of been terrible so no wonder your daughter is unwell. My daughter suffers with anxiety and gets sick a lot but doesnít lose weight, just follow the doctors advice and take things slowly. Come on here for a friendly chat and we will all listen and help if we can xxx ❤️❤️❤️
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Old 13 Sep 21, 01:06 PM  
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alibeau
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Thanks so much all...

but BLOODY HELL, I should have added 'don't say anything nice to me' because you'll have me in tears

It's going to be a tough ish initial six weeks, strict planner, meal and snack times and supervision etc it's all a bit mind blowing but we've had the weekend to wrap our heads around it.

DD is not allowed in the kitchen when food is being prepared etc and she has to choose from the planner the day before with no changes on the day etc. We understand the reasons why...

TBF CAMHS have taken her case very seriously and we are receiving 'gold standard' support. Once her physical health is restored they will then help us with education and counselling. DD had a meeting with the dietician so the meal planner is pretty fab and tailored to her preferences and changed once a week.

Thanks all so very much, although you've made me cry I do feel much better for sharing

Thank you.

Ali x
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Old 13 Sep 21, 01:08 PM  
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shona
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It sounds like a cliche but just deal with one day at a time, you will have good times again and bad days that will take you by surprise but one day at a time is the only way to cope with it. We are currently dealing with a serious illness in the family and seeing stories of hope from the illness website has really helped us so maybe reading about those that have come out the other side can help you see, you can get through it.
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