Advice needed

[Tinkerbell]

My youngest daughter has been plagued with spinal issues and has been on serious opioid medication for years. ...she's also been trying for a baby in between episodes...36 yrs

Today she's basically been told by GP the likelihood of her Falling pregnant or carrying to full term Is remote .

I'm unsure what to say or how to approach this...for those in similiar positions...what did you NOT want to hear

[Macca04]

No advice TB but sending you and your daughter best wishes.

Thinking of you all, take care

[mitch84]

I think it very much depends on the person. She might be interested later down the line in hearing other practical alternatives.
However for me, at the moment I’m enjoying spending time with my dog and doing things like going to the theatre with my friends. I really could do with a holiday, despite going in May I’m overworked and stressed out, but I’m spending money like water at the minute so have to settle for nice walks with the dog and pub trips.
I think there are lots of great things in life that aren’t easily done with a baby, holidays, theatre trips, nights out, road trips, gigs etc, and so it’s nice to enjoy those

[Tinkerbell]

Originally Posted by mitch84

I think it very much depends on the person. She might be interested later down the line in hearing other practical alternatives.
However for me, at the moment I’m enjoying spending time with my dog and doing things like going to the theatre with my friends. I really could do with a holiday, despite going in May I’m overworked and stressed out, but I’m spending money like water at the minute so have to settle for nice walks with the dog and pub trips.
I think there are lots of great things in life that aren’t easily done with a baby, holidays, theatre trips, nights out, road trips, gigs etc, and so it’s nice to enjoy those

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Thank you for that

[Guest]

What a tough thing to have to hear.

Your family has been through so much.
No advice really but I know whatever happens you will do and say the right thing. Best wishes to you all.

[FloridaNuts93]

Don’t really have any advice, just maybe take your lead from her. Be there if she needs to talk- lots of hugs too. Take care.

[All-smiles]

I think in this situation its different for every one but personally when we were told it would never happen (which it did for us) all I wanted was for people to accept what we had been told so we could move on rather than people trying to convince us it might happen. Thank fully we had our miracle and so many people talk of them but I really needed people to not tell me miracles at the time so that I could learn to accept the fertility issues and move on to creating a good life as a family of three.

[mitch84]

Originally Posted by All-smiles

I think in this situation its different for every one but personally when we were told it would never happen (which it did for us) all I wanted was for people to accept what we had been told so we could move on rather than people trying to convince us it might happen. Thank fully we had our miracle and so many people talk of them but I really needed people to not tell me miracles at the time so that I could learn to accept the fertility issues and move on to creating a good life as a family of three.

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I have told 3 people so far, and one is my husband, but I agree. I have no interest in stressing us both out ‘trying’ and have stopped that immediately. If the doctors come up with anything else then great, but for now whilst it’s almost impossible I’m trying to get on with my life and enjoying my husband, house, dog and horses.
We haven’t told either family yet, we’ll likely never tell his lot, they can assume what they like, but I’ll tell mine eventually. The party line will be that it cannot happen and then if a miracle happens then great

[HelenLime]

I think listening without grasping for solutions and trying not to problem solve is important. As with grief I’d avoid statements that start with “at least” .

Take your lead from her. If she wants to talk be there to listen. If it’s difficult or unhelpful for her to talk about it at the moment try and respect that but make it clear you are there, should that change.

Hug for you. It must be so hard xx

[Abbysmum]

I have to be honest if this was me I wouldn't want my mum sharing this on a public forum, I know we are all anonymous but you don't know who is on here who could possibly know you.