Skiing Anxiety

[sam_b]

Hi
I totally empathise AND sympathise. My DH is a great snowboarder and always had snow holidays before we met (as did his ex, daughter, mum, dad sister, bil, nieces etc)
I tried my best to like skiing, I really did,but it really scared me. I had an intro day at Chill Factor and then lessons when I arrived in Whistler.
My DH tried skiing so that we could learn together, but being a snowboarder, he took to it and was a natural. He had no fear and quickly moved out of my ski class. I really hated it - had a few days off with injury, got through a couple more lessons and was so relieved to get home.
When we got back I tried again indoor,and I could get from top to bottom on the main slope, but it still scared me. It was not enjoyable.
The thing that I realised is that no matter what I did, I would NEVER be able to ski with him - he is a black run snowboarder, and even if I tried really hard I knew that I would never want to progress beyond green. And that realisation freed me. I am very sorry that we can’t enjoy snow sports together, and I wish that I could love skiing - but I don’t.
I would happily go back to any ski resort and let him enjoy it. I may have another go one day, but I can amuse myself anywhere. For now, my DH has hung up his snowboard (despite me encouraging him to continue) he says he doesn’t miss it and we travel to loads of other places.
Sometimes, something isn’t for you. Kudos for trying, but if you really dislike it -accept it. I am sure that like me, you won’t stop your DH if he wants to carry on, and like me,you will regret that you can’t enjoy it in the same way... but you can enjoy lots of other things together.

Don’t beat yourself up - that snow is slippy and dangerous,it’s not for everyone! Life is too short to be miserable trying to please others. You tried, that is as much as anyone can ask.

[sam_b]

Originally Posted by Bellasmummy

I ski very little with dh and dd which is a shame as we can’t enjoy it together but there’s no point holding them back or making me upset.

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And this is exactly when I realised that it actually made no difference if I am suffering in a ski class, or having a spa day - we wouldn’t be together anyway. So at that point I gave myself permission to give up. 😀

[gl20]

Hi. Keen skier myself and I know how hard it can be when the other half is a different ability. My wife got into skiing very late. Yes we used to fall out on the slopes. What we’ve found works best:

- Wife gets lessons sometimes 1:1. The first time I saw her really happy on skis was straight after her first private lesson with a French ski instructor (I know, I know! He was called Oli and she still talks about him but I’m sure it was all above board and it really did build her confidence)
- we will ski as a couple but not her, me and my friends. Basically, if most of the group are expert/comfortable it just doesn’t work for anyone if one person is finding it tough.
- I do holidays just with friends of a similar level then separate holiday with the wife.
- or we’ve holidayed with other couples who have similar experience gaps.

Whatever you do, it’s not reasonable for your husband to be annoyed. If that’s not going to change I’d suggest quitting these sorts of holidays. What’s the point if you’re not enjoying it? If you can do them on your terms (ie ski/don’t ski, time off the slopes, whatever you want) then great, otherwise I’d draw a line under them and tell him to go with his friends.

[Bellasmummy]

Originally Posted by sam_b

And this is exactly when I realised that it actually made no difference if I am suffering in a ski class, or having a spa day - we wouldn’t be together anyway. So at that point I gave myself permission to give up. 😀

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I really enjoy my own time on our ski trips, I take plenty of books on my kindle, my Disney planner as it’s always getting close to our summer trips and I can spend all the time I want planning next to a pool with a pot of tea.

I do still ski though but I don’t know how much longer I will. I used to be fairly good and have skied black runs with ease in the past, but age, fitness and confidence are now against me.

We always choose resorts with additional activities to choose from and stay in hotels with good facilities so that if I choose not to ski there’ll be lots to keep me occupied.

Dh and dd would ski all the hours the slopes are open given the choice. I think it’s nice for them to have something that they both enjoy so much and I can see daddy daughter trips without me the future.

Dd and I have our own little trips too so we’re all happy.

[mitch84]

I had this exact issue, I have skied since I was 11, and also gave skied the odd black run, but reds were really no issue.

I had a few years off. But when I first went with my ex partner I was much better than him, but he just picked it up so quickly, and was absolutely fearless.

He booked to take me to New Zealand to ski for my 30th but I’d not long had hip surgery, and whilst I was cleared to go, I wasn’t comfortable at all.
We found a different resort with much more greens and blues and had a better time, he booked to take me again the next year, and I just didn’t really want to ski, I had put a bit of weight on too and fear of falling and hurting myself was too high. We used to split up and i’d pretend i’d been skiing. But really I just popped to the cafe at the bottom of a green run and read my book.
My current partner hated skiing when he went, so I doubt we’ll go again. and i’m not really that sad

[liz-paul]

If you want to ski then I'd try lessons. If you just want to enjoy the holiday and make sure your oh can continue to have snow holidays I'd find other stuff you can enjoy while in the resort: Reading, spa activities, pool, day trips. My bil loves skiing but the first time he went with his wife she had an accident and swore off skiing for life. However, they now go most years and he skis, their daughter goes to ski school and sil spends her days around the resort very happily.

[Flowertot]

The best thing you could possibly do is get lessons, you need someone to talk you through everything you are doing. A good ski instructor will help build your confidence. A group lesson is good as everyone is at same stage and they stop and start a lot, plus you can have a laugh with the group.goid luck and try to enjoy it.

Originally Posted by skalexander

I’m currently in Banff with my husband, parents and brother - husband and brother are boarding, in meant to be skiing and my parents are mostly doing their own thing.

I last skied in Whistler in 2016, and I did have confidence issues but I eventually got into it. We did our first day on Thursday and our second day today (been doing other things in between).

Thursday was a disaster. I went up a run I skied all day long when we were last here in 2010 (the Dell Valley off the Strawberry Chair at Sunshine if anyone knows it) but I barely got 100 yards, had a total meltdown with crying, nausea, shaking etc. and walked the whole way down, and that was me done for the day.

Today I’ve convinced myself it will be better but I’ve managed a couple of wobbly goes down the baby slope in the leaning area before the same feelings came back and I’ve come inside.

I know husband won’t be happy later when I tell him I’ve thrown in the towel again (and everytime he gets annoyed I get more upset with myself).

I’ve never been a good skier but a reasonable green run was always within my abilities. Now if I see anything with more than an almost flat slope I can’t cope. It’s not helped, I don’t think, by the fact I’m heavier than I think I’ve ever been (though I’m working on it) so I don’t feel very comfortable in my own skin.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I’m wondering if a lesson might help? Though I had 2 in Whistler and I was still a mess when we came here.

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[Melbatb]

I agree with the lessons - also are you skiing on your own? That isn’t much fun either.

I have skiied for almost 40 years but as I get older, I get slower and less happy to take risks. If we ski as a family, we tend to split into boys and girls - they can do the blacks and DD and I are happy to tootle around on the blues and reds.

It is a long time since I have skiied in Banff but we joined a group with an instructor/tour guide. He took us around the mountains and helped us with technique but it wasn’t a traditional lesson.

Good luck!

[lov2dibb]

It's absolutely worth getting some ski lessons. Best on a 1-1 basis with an experienced instructor.
I just did a snoworks course and most of it was about how to stop - skidding mainly.
Once we'd mastered that, it made everything else so much easier and less frightening.
If you can have confidence in your ability to stop on your level of slope (green, blue etc) then the rest is easy.
Ask them to concentrate on controlling your speed and mastering stopping. I think that would really help your confidence.

Also - who are you skiing with?
It sounds like you are on your own?
If you are skiing alone then that's really brave but maybe not much fun? and maybe that too is affecting your confidence?
If that is the case, why not join a group lesson for 2 or 3 days? You'll be with others at your level and not under pressure to do runs you are not comfortable with.

I haven't been to Sunshine but I was in Canada a couple of years ago and found the conditions in the interior (Lake Louise) challenging as it was very cold and dry (lots of snow-cannon snow) and I think that's harder to ski on. Whistler was so much easier with milder, wetter snow

But definitely get some lessons!

Good Luck!

[Disney_time]

I do sympathise with you. I always wanted to enjoy it but just didn't, so now don't do it all. It doesn't stop me going the holidays though and love just chilling, swimming and reading while the others do their thing.

DH had a great private teacher at Whistler a few years ago, and booked back in with him last year. He was with our friends who would previously have said they knew all about skiing, but after lessons with John they both said how much they had learned. So perhaps a small group lesson is the way to go. I have heard that some places have womens only ski camps on certain dates. I hope you can find a solution and sending (((hugs))) for your next attempt.