What to ask the solicitor?

[theCMG]

Originally Posted by TheDisneyCouple

We don't have children :-). My husband said he wants children just not with me! That's my nephew in the picture. My husband has changed his online habits since this all kicked off. He no longer uses Facebook to talk to people. Any time I suggest adding me as a friend to any of these accounts he changes the subject.

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oh ok apologies,my mistake There's quite a lot of tech things that can be done these days for example if he has 'where's my iphone' or something similar enabled. This probably isn't helping, know that it does get better. The earlier you're away from someone who turns out to be a total douche the better just do yourself a favour and be rock solid that when he realises the grass isn't greener and comes blubbing back you tell him where to go

[lozzylou]

Horrible situation and no advice to offer. Hope you get through the emotional stuff without much pain and come out the other side a happier person.

[BarryandCaron]

Surely his PGSE is not valid with you doing part of it?

So sorry you are going through a divorce but you need to think of yourself now.

[TheDisneyCouple]

Originally Posted by BarryandCaron

Surely his PGSE is not valid with you doing part of it?

So sorry you are going through a divorce but you need to think of yourself now.

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Well in the event that I'm in danger of losing my share of the house and I have nothing left to lose I always have that trump card. That possibility could be the only thing that convinces my husband to split our assets fairly. My solicitor believes that my husband knew exactly what he was doing when he convinced me that using his inheritance to pay for the house would be less hassle than bringing all of our savings together into a lump sum.

[DisneyStacey]

Oh my.
I have no words of advice or wisdom for you, but I am just so sorry for what you are going through!
It will be a horrendous year or two for you, but please believe me when I say you will be so much better off without him!
You deserve so much more than what he has given you in life.
You have a mountain of support here!
Please don't pin all your self worth on your t**t of a husband - He is obviously ugly on the inside and that is the worst way to be!

[daytonababe]

Originally Posted by TheDisneyCouple

Well in the event that I'm in danger of losing my share of the house and I have nothing left to lose I always have that trump card. That possibility could be the only thing that convinces my husband to split our assets fairly. My solicitor believes that my husband knew exactly what he was doing when he convinced me that using his inheritance to pay for the house would be less hassle than bringing all of our savings together into a lump sum.

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Well as hard as this might seem now I think maybe he's done you a favour.

Because he sounds very manipulative and dishonest.


Can you prove you helped do his school stuff?

[Guest]

Originally Posted by TheDisneyCouple

We don't have children :-). My husband said he wants children just not with me! That's my nephew in the picture. My husband has changed his online habits since this all kicked off. He no longer uses Facebook to talk to people. Any time I suggest adding me as a friend to any of these accounts he changes the subject.

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Not having children is a game changer. It means you are just adults with only yourselves to think about and whether one or both of you had affairs or thought about affairs is largely irrelevant. There is nothing illegal about having or wanting an affair. Or even being a poor quality spouse. Put emotion aside.

Regardless of whether you have children or not, your marital assets are joint. Including pension funds, these are simply a type of asset accumulated over time same as any other asset - I mention simply because of other remarks that somebody would be outraged that a former spouse should have a claim on pension - of course they should!

So as to where you should pitch things, assuming you have been married for a reasonable amount of time, is 50:50. I am friends with a thrice married individual and she has successfully divorced as DIY twice and the most recent was in pretty ugly circumstances of affair but they still kept the solicitor bills down.

[Macca04]

I think he will be in for a shock and hopefully it will be 50:50

My SIL got divorced recently and she got 70:30 because they had been married 40 years and she only had a partime job and had brought up the children. She got 50% of his very meger pension too! To be honest we were all a bit shocked. She is a very strong lady and although he wanted to buy her out of the family home she insisted it was sold, she didn't want him moving his other woman in there. Since the divorce we have found out that he has got someone else (someone my SIL considered to be a friend). Her suspicions were raised through instgram, they never really shared each other's phones as he used his a lot for work but he left it lying around and my SIL saw something on there. Sammy you say your MIL had to tell you, I really believe he left his phone for her to see so that she then had to confront him. Some people really don't have a backbone!

[lettie]

Sending you some ((((((((HUGS))))))) it's going to be tough but don't give in to any of his demands.

This time next year hopefully you will meet a man you deserve.

[skalexander]

Originally Posted by TheDisneyCouple

Well in the event that I'm in danger of losing my share of the house and I have nothing left to lose I always have that trump card. That possibility could be the only thing that convinces my husband to split our assets fairly. My solicitor believes that my husband knew exactly what he was doing when he convinced me that using his inheritance to pay for the house would be less hassle than bringing all of our savings together into a lump sum.

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There's quite a lot of case law on inheritance in divorce cases and whether it constitutes a matrimonial asset. I researched the issue maybe 18m ago and the general consensus was that if it's been used for the mutual benefit of the parties then it's a matrimonial asset. Each case turns on its own facts but don't assume you have no right to the house because of the inheritance issue.