How do you react to openly racist pensioners?

[*jovi_girl*]

Please don’t start arguing. It seems all my posts turn into some big debate and people start being horrible to each other.

This wasn’t meant to be a debate thread

[Pino_Spetzberg]

Originally Posted by *jovi_girl*

I would do anything for my residents and in no way neglect them in the slightest.

See more...

That comes across clearly now.

Thank you for replying.

[Tubbsy]

My MIL doesn't have dementia but can racist, sexist, homophobic in her speeches.
She started again over Easter.
I just said times had to move on.
When she started to argue, I said "When you were your DGD age ,(24)would you sit in front of your grandparents and wear jeans? Would you talk politics with such well informed knowledge? Would you be fighting for a promotion?"
MIL ... "No, suppose you're right"

DH has had to show her how to research the racist posts she saw and shared on FB.

I'm hoping she may think a little more in future.

I cannot imagine the things all your families are going through with loved ones coping with dementia.
Our family is blighted by cancer. ,
Sending thoughts to you all.

[missy E]

Originally Posted by returnplanning

With respect, dementia does not automatically give a free pass. People with cognitive impairment can be found criminally liable, or responsible in other ways.

See more...

I understand that.

My point was there is different stages of Dementia. It all affects the brain & way of thinking/acting in regardless if you are at the end of that journey or the beginning.

You suggested that an instance could be overlooked in one person and not the other.

Racism should never be overlooked if the person is of sound mind.

But for the ones who are not it must be dealt/challenged in a sensitive way as in most cases they do not understand or be reasoned with that what they are saying is wrong.

In Dads care home they specialise in Dementia so have been trained to deal with such outbursts.
Staff will remove a person from a room if they are causing other residents upset. Or at least try to distract to set their thought process in another direction.
I have apologised several times for his outbursts. The staff always reassure they have heard it all and know it's the illness not the person talking.

Much love to all those on their Dementia journeys with their loved ones. x

[Mazbar]

I wasn’t going to comment but changed my mind. The pensioners you are talking about grew up when this was acceptable. Times move on and thinking changes. They are too old to change or would you have them go on diversity lessons.

[Mexy02]

Op I think as you can see most of us face this at present in daily life, be it through relatives or work. The world has changed dramatically over the past 30-40 years but perceptions from the older generation haven’t. Partially due to education, location and let’s face it the daily press don’t help with the barrage of headlines that dominate , many readers are of the older generations . Partly why brexit was pretty toxic imo and still is. Racism and immigration was fuelled during the process so it’s not always just for medical reasons. Our parents really haven’t done a bad job raising us otherwise we would all be the same . we aren’t , but we are better educated and more open to integration of religion and race .
I think it’s how we deal with it that really matters and often shows how many who face the abuse don’t react or politely walk away. As you say it’s recorded at work but can you really punish someone who doesn’t even recognise their own flesh and blood let alone understand what they have said may be hurtful. Many will know in the profession if it’s a patient that it’s more likely the illness talking . Dementia changes the whole person often to someone we no longer recognise except externally

[novocastrian]

imo these people are talking from a different time/place/world... when this was deemed , for want of a better word, 'acceptable'... just look at what was on tv less than 30 years ago...

my in laws use certain language/phrases that my 14 year old daughter is mortified at but understands her grandparents arent bad people just from a different time

she would never use such language and is very understanding/tolerant...

its always said its all about educating the future generations which to my eyes is working

hopefully in 30 years this wouldnt even come up

[vowels]

I think some people have not read Jovi_girl's post all the way through and are assuming the resident has dementia.

Originally Posted by *jovi_girl*

The resident doesn’t have dementia or anything and has made several racist comments in the past

See more...

The patient is racist, not ill, so is responsible for her actions. I am sure everyone agrees dementia is a terrible illness to befall on anyone but it is not an issue in this matter.

She asked for advice on dealing with a racist resident at her workplace, not how to punish anyone. It seems, sadly, that people believe those caring for them are there to be abused and there should be no rebuke for their actions. Ignoring the comments seems to be the most common technique in health care from what other posters have said.

And to clarify, I do not advocate starving racists, that was a joke.

[Squidgyness]

As always on the internet things have gotten derailed.

Sounds like the OP is working within the framework of their career to attempt to address the situation and I commend them for it. Certainly I don't have the patience for it, and consider care workers to be among our most underappreciated citizens. Certainly a bit more appreciation and attention might go a long way to resolving issues on both staff and resident sides of the coin.

I'd ask that people try to refrain from reading things into OP's post, but as always on the internet that's an almost impossible task apparently.

OP, you sound like you're doing a great job. It's people like you that we'll all have to rely on in our old age, so thanks