There's No 'F' in Adele (Don't Stop Believing) Day 1

[wizzo]

Day One 13th September 2012

The index is HERE

The day started early. In fact I thought it had all ended in truth. I awoke in what appeared to be a white room. “That’s it then” I thought to myself, “I’ve popped my bloody clogs on the day I go on holiday……Typical”. It was only then that I realised that I wasn’t in a white room and that I could hear the sound of a Kindle clicking. It dawned on me, Lynn had found the world’s brightest reading lamp and in fact I still had my eyes shut!

The time was 5am on the dot. We’ll say no more about this episode and the conversation that took place as this is a family forum.

I went back to sleep.

Sometime later, children appeared from their half of the suite and started being excited and loud, so I got up.



Our view looked like this. Great Hotel this one! Did I say? (Same time next year, cheers)





We washed, changed and I dropped the overnight bag in the boot of the car and returned with car seats. We headed for departures having dropped the car keys off and checked out of the Radisson on the way. Did I say what an absolutely brilliant establishment this was and how the staff would bend over backwards for their clientele? (Same time next year. Ta)

We were at bag drop by 7:50am. We were soon ‘De-Bagged’ and through security with no fuss at all. I was disappointed not to get the chance to flash my winky in the X-Ray booth again this trip. Maddy on the other hand was glad she was saved the ordeal of 2011!

Frankie and Benny’s was packed and had a queue like Toy Story Mania outside. I’m not queuing for overpriced, mediocre food at 8am in the morning! Instead we went to the café outside WH Smith and were seated straight away for our overpriced, mediocre food at 8:01am!

Juices, coffees, croissants and breakfast buns came and went and I was relieved of £25!


Surprise surprise...Maddy is pulling a funny face!



It was at this point that I realised I’d left the kids’ headphones plugged into the DVD players in the car! Arrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhh

“Never mind” said Lynn in that way wives do when it actually means “Ooooh! We can buy new ones!”. So off we trooped to Dixons where they got shiny new ones. Lesson learned.

We did the usual forty trips to Smiths. Got magazines, drinks, puzzle books, colouring books etc. All of which were barely looked at on the plane.

Before long we were sat at the gate and getting the call to board. I sent a few last tweets to my Dibb followers and we were off bang on time!

It was a smooth take off but I noticed the people in front were a bit twitchy. As it turned out they were waiting for the seat belt light to go out. At which point their seats came crashing down like a row of dominos! SERIAL RECLINERS!



I won’t start the whole recline or not recline debate in this report. God knows there are enough threads on the Dibb about it but I’m not a recliner. We all like a bit of space and the only way it’s shared is if either everyone is reclined or no one is. Two wrongs don’t make a right either and the bloke behind me wasn’t reclined, so I didn’t.

Let’s just say those LCD’s are warm on your nose!



I’m a firm believer in “What goes around comes around” and in this case it very much did. A couple of hours into the flight unbeknown to any of us passengers, a bottle of apple juice or similar had exploded in an overhead locker two rows in front of our friends the serial recliners. This liquid had gradually made its way down two sets of lockers and decided it had met some resistance so would exit in a steady dripping action on the chap in front of me’s head.

Karma is a wonderful thing. He was startled to say the least and even I have to admit that when I first saw it, I thought it was urine too! Anyway, he must have tasted apples as he wiped it off his eyes and mouth.

There was a commotion by now and two rows down someone got up and found the bottle. It was a good 6ft away and he dealt with it. Unfortunately for Mr Serial Recliner because it was soaked into the fabric of the bags in the lockers every time he thought it had stopped and sat back down…you guessed it! His golden shower would start up again! Drip…Drip…Drip

I doubt I’ve ever looked so smug, especially when he put his seat back up!

The girls were oblivious to all of this and happily watched and played.



I watched ‘The Dictator’ which was good, followed by Men in Black 3 which was excellent! I’d never have guessed that they could have made a film so touching to (hopefully) end the trilogy. Lynn watched chick flicks (we don’t need to detail them) and the girls watched Brave, Pirates etc

Some awful food happened and it looked like this.







The serial recliner in front of me was also hell bent on filling the gap in between their seats with pillows. Every 20 minutes of course it would fall out onto our side. I was sick of this and made no effort at all to move Maddy’s gravy laden leftovers out of the way!



As readers of previous trip reports will remember, it’s generally me that takes Maddy to the loo on a flight, which is okay because Lynn does it the rest of the time. This flight was no different and half way through Maddy needed to go. We were in luck, the green light was on and we ducked in. Maddy was straight on and doing what I’d term “A full set” before I noticed that she hadn’t put the seat down and therefor had her backside sat on the frame itself! A grim thought at the time but in retrospect it’s probably the seat that bears the brunt of the atrocities in aircraft toilet. Before long (and despite me being stood four inches away) she loudly announced to the world “FINISHED!” which as all of you parents out there know means “Attend to my skid marks Daddy”.

All had gone well. We washed up and I went to open the door…….at which point the sliding door bolt decided to come off and go flying through the air. In a split second my brain had plotted its trajectory and realised it was heading for the bowl!

This was the instant that everything flashed into slow motion (very much in the style of the matrix). It seemed an eternity as the bolt arched towards the pan. I was helpless, time had slowed down but so had my hands. It made contact with the rim of the toilet and then we were in ‘bullet time’. I could see every scratch on that aluminium bolt, I can picture it now and in a flash we were back at full speed and it skimmed the rim and landed on the floor!

Sighed?……………………you bet I did. In that split second, as well as analysing the finish on that little aluminium bolt, I’d already thought of the two impending outcomes.

A) Shouting for help in a pathetic voice, trapped inside an Airbus lavatory

or

B) Fishing the bolt out of an overused Virgin ≈≈≈≈per

‘Relieved’ was not the word for it and as luck would have it, the bolt had just work loose over time. I screwed it back in, slid it across and exited like nothing had happened. I lost some time from the end of my life that day. Maybe days, maybe weeks, who knows, but it’s time I’ll never get back.

I swear to you, I don’t make this sh.. stuff up! You couldn’t!

On the approach to Orlando the muggles in front were in for a bit of a shock. It appears that they did need to listen to all the announcements about filling in a customs form after all! Despite them “Doing that there ESTARRR thingy already”

Karma again.

The same bunch also thought it would be a simply spiffing idea to all get out of their seats on ‘Final Approach’ to get a look out of someone else’s window! They were in the four middle seats like us and just stood up, stood in the aisle and leaned over the people in the window seats. It was amazing. We were at most 500 feet up. It sparked a frenzied attack from cabin crew who had to undo their own seatbelts and charge down the cabin. I suppose I should be thankful that they weren’t noisy on the flight.

We landed half an hour early, but not to worry MCO’s Immigration hall soon got that time back! Once we’d got the cases and then lost them again on that ridiculous system in MCO we caught the monorail with the kids grabbing front row seats.



Despite booking my Dollar car through a third party I still went to the express booth in the car park and once again they just dealt with me there. No VIP car this time. I tried to tap the lady for one with DVD players and all the goodies but even the promise of some notes going her way didn’t work. Apparently they don’t have them anymore so it was a plain Dodge Grand Caravan for us. Nothing wrong with it though and the kids chose a black one.



Within 25 minutes we were pulling up to the Hard Rock Hotel and parking up.



Check-in was a breeze and we were soon in our garden view room and finally here. It was about 5pm by this point.


Maddy living the rock star lifestyle already





The intention was to walk over to Citywalk and get a box of Cinnabon Classics for breakfast the next morning as doubtless we’d be up long before shops were open the next morning. As it turns out the girls were also hungry having not eaten much on the plane, so we got them a quick pizza to share at Pastamore just over the road from Cinnabon.

We were all shattered. We got Universal refillable mugs for the walk back to the hotel and we were in bed by 8pm and asleep by 8:01pm!

Tomorrow – Islands of Adventure and Bubba Gumps

[Guest]

great report i had a town n chrysler 7 seater had dvd in it

[mkingdon]

In the spirit of a typical reply...

Day 2? Where is it? Come on hurry up?

You're welcome!

Enjoyed the toilet shenanigans.

[jocat]

Had to giggle at the morning reading 'incident' - DH and I have similar conversations about my Kindle reading light. It's apparently like undergoing an inquisition.

Can't believe the people in front of you. Particularly leaning over the people by the window when you were about to land. Like you said, karma is a wonderful thing!

[pudge]

OMG Paul... nearly had a tena lady moment myself there... LOL at Golden Shower...karma is a wonderful thing & the "toilet issue"...i really need a laugh just now so thanks

[Guest]

great report

[tracy99]

i can tell,i'm going to enjoy,this trip report.
looking forward to reading more
tracy x

[JoJo88]

Still shuddering at the thought of the toilet incident.

Glad that karma was served up to the muppets in front of you.

Might I suggest that Santa would do well to bring Lynn/you one of THESE little beauties this Christmas

Great report, seems only a matter of months since your... Oh, you get the idea

[PrincessRebex]

I love the picture of the girls on the HRH beds

Eventful plane journey to say the least!

[Guest]

Too funny - Matrix!