Life tips for first year student

[Deano]

What a good thread this is and comforting to know I'm not the only one in this boat. Seems like lots of our kids have missed opportunities to grow up over the last 2 years and whilst I would say my daughter is mature I wonder how street wise she is.

We have a slightly different dilemma in that originally she thought she wanted to go to a uni about 50 miles away but now she is talking about staying local and going to one that's a bus ride away.

She says its because she thinks she would prefer the course but I wonder if it will be harder for her to integrate with other if she comes home each night and will she miss out.
I've told her ultimately its her choice and will support whatever she does. I would love her to stay home but that's for my own selfish reasons knowing we will miss her.

[Floridadreams]

Originally Posted by Deano

What a good thread this is and comforting to know I'm not the only one in this boat. Seems like lots of our kids have missed opportunities to grow up over the last 2 years and whilst I would say my daughter is mature I wonder how street wise she is.

We have a slightly different dilemma in that originally she thought she wanted to go to a uni about 50 miles away but now she is talking about staying local and going to one that's a bus ride away.

She says its because she thinks she would prefer the course but I wonder if it will be harder for her to integrate with other if she comes home each night and will she miss out.
I've told her ultimately its her choice and will support whatever she does. I would love her to stay home but that's for my own selfish reasons knowing we will miss her.

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It’s so hard isn’t it?! From looking at the great responses on here, they do find their own way in the end. I imagine that your dd will make friends on her course and before you know it she’ll be sleeping on their floors after a night out! I used to think that you had to live away as it’s part of the experience but my dh, who went to Uni in Ireland (where we now live), didn’t live away until third year. In fact it seems that might have been a standard thing here.
DS has changed his mind because the course is better. At the end of the day the most important thing when they are choosing where to go is the course. As long as your dd is happy with her course choice then I’m sure the friend’s and settling in will follow. It won’t stop us from worrying though x

[Floridadreams]

I have to admit I was a bit nervous about starting this thread, but I’m so glad I did! Thank you all so much for the reassurance and tips!
The accommodation would be in privately run student villages (no halls) - apparently they do put first years together in the houses, but other than that it’s random. We will be able to have a look at them nearer the time. They are fully furnished so I expect that’d include a kettle etc, but we’ll know more when we go. We will need to buy bedding and I’ll have a chat with him about posters etc. The doorstop tip is a great idea - thank you for that one! He is a gamer so usually just lives in his room with the door shut so this might not go down well, but at least we can chat about it beforehand now.
He is into chess (currently plays online) and I think there is a chess club, so at least that’ll be one group he can join. He doesn’t play any sports or anything so that’s out, but if he can find a couple of things, that should help.
I will get him doing his washing 🙈 hadn’t thought of that! He does change his bed (not as much as I would like!) and clean his room already so that’s something.
Cooking is a bit of a nightmare! He says he’ll live off pasta and rice - never cooked either! And I’m not sure what he’s planning on putting with it. He was given a cooking on a budget book at the college open day but it’s not great. I’ll have a look into the one recommended and try to get him more involved in cooking over the next few months. I had started taking ds (or dd) food shopping in the normal time to give them some experience of costs etc, but obviously that went out of the window when it was only one person per trolley! I’ll have to start that up again!
Any other tips anyone else thinks of throw them this way!

[Sandra & co]

My daughter loves these, like pot noodle but much nicer

[RuthieR]

Start buying stuff now that they need for accom whilst the sales are on, buy a bit each week and you won't notice the costs. Check Halls before you pick which one for closest supermarket where they can do a decent shop but importantly carry it home. Laundry and how to open an airer and hang almost tumbled clothes on it. How to change their bed and clean their bathroom (a splash of bleach and a spray of Flash go a long way).

Also DS knew before he went which Societies to join. His flat mates were a mix of 1st and 2nd years and not very friendly at all. Covid made mixing difficult. But he did join the Tennis society which has given him loads of new friends and social opportunities which meant he didn't just sit in his room and actually mixed. He is in the Uni Tennis team and is playing a match at Newcastle today. Weds tend to be a no lecture / study day at most Unis so good to have a plan of something to do weekly.

Cook simple meals and using a microwave. DS has lived on Chicken goujons, chips, wraps, pastry slices and pizza until the Halls got a new microwave. He did cook a bit of pasta and added a one person pot of sauce a few times. Now he is eyeing up ready meals in Lidl on his next shop.

Finally, don't let them come home too fast after 1st going away, leave it 6 weeks so they settle. It is hard on you both and they say they don't miss you or home but they do! Just dropped my DS back last Sunday, has been home since 17th Dec but the house is weirdly silent, my food cupboards are full and the laundry basket is empty with 1 away again!

[WhereIBelong]

Would suggest getting a job for now til September if they don't have one. Both my girls took a year out before uni. Both got work during covid years and to be honest "grew up a bit" before uni. They both gained people skills and a bit of resilience and thicker skin!.

Dd21 moved to uni with her boyfriend... that fell through after a year and she got a house share at short notice. She has grown into an amazing, resourceful young woman able to arrange it all on her own whilst also arranging next year's study abroad in Germany .

DD19 is currently in halls for first year. We managed to get an early arrival day and time which meant she knew where stuff was and what hoops to jump through to sort out problems before others arrived. She met so many new people that way, helping them out with faulty door keys etc... some of whom she has arranged a house share with for next year.

Before uni my 2 would not have said boo to a goose. One is now jointly running her Socialist society at uni, the other helping refugees learn English.

We are proud parents.

So would suggest getting work,(even short term)... arriving at halls early, cooking at home... have a signature recipie, even just stew and mash... also teach them HOW to unblock their toilet, to de-hair a plughole, to bleach a bathroom to prevent mould... how to do laundry, how to clean a fridge...

And finally, how to use public transport properly. One of mine thought she had to get a bus home because the train didn't go from her uni town to our home town... not realising there was an easy change, and that the act of actually changing trains is easy, (if you don't load yourself up too much for the journey)

[DisneyDaffodil]

Practical hints being teach him how to keep to a budget. It’s easy for them to forget that they have a set amount to live on and spend it all on a night out or overspend on groceries and forget they have to pay gas/electric/internet. The first year these bills are often included in student halls, but it’s much harder in the following years when they have to budget for household bills too. Plus rent often runs for just 38-40 weeks in student halls but the full 52 weeks in private student rentals

[JudeB]

As well as a mattress protector, I got my DD a mattress topper for her bed at uni and she said it was great as the mattresses weren't that good.

Your son may not be allowed posters on his walls but I got my DS an A4 photo sized poster of his favourite F1 driver to put on his desk, just to make it a bit more personal.

[soooexcited!]

A lot of uni accomodation don't advise propping open doors either due to the fact they are fire doors,but I know both mine did. My son went in Sept and I was slightly concerned how he'd settle with the last 2 years of college spent having lecture mainly online. He sorted his accomodation really quickly and joined the fb group straight away. He knew most of the other people by name who where in his block. On moving in day there was already another lad on his floor who moved in the day before. He offered to help get his stuff up the 3 floors. My son being polite kept saying we can manage. I soon said yes please 🤣 It really broke the ice as they had a laugh up and down the stairs. The danger is to blow loads of your maintenance loan as soon as it drops but they need to start budgeting quickly or that money will run out very fast. I bought both mine tubs of celebrations a pack of cards and some sourz for shots as ice breakers on that first night. Both mine also have a compact clothes airer that folds really small which is helpful. DS sorted his clothes washing routine quickly with a few what do I put these on calls. DD still hasn't nailed her washing 🤣
Really good point about signing up to the 2nd year accomodation too early. I never realised the pressure is on fairly quickly to secure the next years accomodation not long after you start. DS signed up to a hideous flat in Nottingham for Sept sent me the pics and just looking at it realised most of the rest of it was derelict 😬 They have moved to another one but they started looking in November for the following Sept. Hard to know that quick who you want to share with. I also didn't realise a lot of accommodation asks for patents to act as guarantee for their rent unless you can pay it upfront. That was a bit of a shock for me.

[BevS97]

My eldest daughter is quite shy. She joined some clubs but most of her friends are from her course. It took her a while to really find her feet. She is also a figure skater and while she didn’t know any uni students who skates she took herself to the rink And met other skaters which was great for her. The point being you have the whole city at your disposal you aren’t limited to what the uni offers.

She was shocked at how many of her friends couldn’t do laundry or cook a meal. Definitely get them doing that.

I would advise think carefully about second year accommodation. They feel a lot of pressure to sign up straight away. My dd signed a lease with her flatmates but they didn’t get on my the following September and it made for a difficult year. She would have been better waiting a while before she committed.

My youngest is due to go in September. She has our local uni on her list if she goes there she will still live there. Her first choice is away, so if she ends up at her second choice I want her to have the same experience.