Advice on a work incident

[daytonababe]

Originally Posted by wdw1991

My OH has read the email and thinks it’s really harsh. They are a small employer so HMRC will pay my SMP.

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He’s hardly neutral though


Tbh I think your being OTT. My daughter is 29’. Weeks pregnant and works in a school usually in reception class . Of course she’s picked up bugs it can’t be helped , same as it can’t in everyday life

You said you went into panic mode which probably didn’t help .

I’ve never heard of a nanny not looking after sick kids though .

[britishgirl]

if you didnt say you werent coming in,and they didnt want you to come to the house and keep the children out all day the question is for what reason would they want no one there,has she been ill in the past and stayed at home if so were you expected to keep the children out all day then?
but if you feel any of the discomfort felt in the last few months was from their side and you have just been the same as normal,just be careful what you say in the meeting because they may be looking for a reason to get rid of you because they may not have been able to find a nanny who will only cover maternity leave Good luck

[disneymadhouse]

I have to agree with Daytonababe ... I've spent my whole career in childcare and have never heard of a nanny not looking after poorly children. That's the beauty of a family having a nanny over a child minder or sending the child to nursery.
I worked as a nanny while pregnant and yes I got ill ... maybe from the child ... maybe from the handle on the Tesco's trolley!

[Stitchfan626]

You have a contract and written agreement that you are not to go to the house if there is sickness or diarrhoea. Regardless of whether this is unusual or 'over the top', this is the agreement you have in place.

I can understand the parents frustration though as you could have kept the children out or found a compromise.

As to what you do now, you have 3 options:

- apologise for the misunderstanding and try and repair the relationship and move on
- put in a grievance about the email and if you genuinely feel they are treating you differently now you are pregnant about that too
- leave

Are you planning to return there after your maternity leave?

[Guest]

I also think you have probably over reacted to this. To say you are not coming in because mum is ill seems a bit unreasonable. If you worked in an office you would not be able to just not go to work because somebody else in the office has a sniffle or even a runny tummy (you might not even know!)

You also seem to have been communicating over message and both parties can misconstrue things this way. It might have been better to pick up the phone and have a chat.

[DisneyWannabe]

I can fully understand the angst of your first pregnancy, but I also think you maybe overreacting. I can understand you not being expected to care for an ill child (and definitely not looking after the parents) but I can't see why you couldn't continue to look after a well child even with D&V in the house tbh. As long as you take precautions you shouldn't be at any greater risk. I have rarely caught D&V when looking after my own children or those in the school I work at.

I think you need to look at your contract in detail. For example you say that the agreement is you don't go to the house if they have D&V, this doesn't necessarily mean you wouldn't be expect to take the children out. Personally if I was ill and had a nanny I would expect that she/he kept the children out of my hair while I recovered, and perhaps this is what they meant? not that Mom had D&V?

I'm not sure quite why you expected them to arrange a day out? surely this is something you could have organised? I have often taken my own children out for 8-9 hours to a farm or park etc. (of course I would expect the parents to cover the costs of this).

I'm not sure if it applies in your situation, but in the normal workplace an employer can cancel holiday or expect you to cover un-agreed time off (assuming you are being paid for the days you didn't work) with your holiday allowance, is this what they are suggesting regarding your 2 days holiday?

I hope you can get this sorted when you meet with them, but I agree with another poster abut sending a message to ask if Mom is feeling better to break the ice.

[mickchick]

It is not about your rights as per any contract or agreement you have with them: this boils down to maintaining a harmonious and professional working relationship. You are a nanny. Your job is to look after the kids. Sorry, but you can't just opt in and out when it suits you, especially as it seems to suit you best when they need you most - ie when the kids aren't well or when they as parents are ill. You suggest that they seem to have got a bit fed up with the rules you have laid down and I for one don't blame them.
Hopefully it is not too late to discuss all this with them and for you and they to see it from each other's point of view. Do not over think this or make any impulsive or emotional decisions. It seems to me you still need each other.

[marypoppins38]

A day out with the children would have been lovely in this weather. When mine were young we were out almost every day in nice weather. Park, farm, lunch somewhere, museum, picnic and ice cream and some fun on the playground. Maybe this is what the parent expected if you didn't want to be in the house with mum.

[Lisaw1971]

When my girls were little, I'd have been peeved if our nanny wouldn't look after them when ill! That's was the joy of a nanny, otherwise they could have gone to nursery school!

Measles, chicken pox - totally different!

If I was ill & the nanny took off, I'd be absolutely fuming!

Sorry not what you want to hear 😬

[duchy]

Just wondering who was supposed to look after the children if you didn't go in and Mum was sick , did Dad have to take the day off ?

What was your issue with taking the kids out for the day ? Surely days outare a normal thing ?

I feel there's something missing from all this.