So I told my girlfriend

[cartoonp]

[disney332]

The wife has got the major hump this morning as someone has stolen a pair of her knickers off the washing line.

Its not so much about the knickers, but she wants the 12 pegs back.

Disney33#

[disney332]

If anybody wants a list of every famous Bugs Bunny quote, I can send it to you as a WhatsApp doc!

Disney332

[disney332]

Paramedics has been sent to the London eye to deal with an unconscious man.
They said that he is coming round slowly

Disney332

[disney332]

Why is Mickey Mouse's helicopter no use in Scotland?

Disneyland.

Disney332

[disney332]

A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and he heard a booming voice.

The Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over any time I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports require reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothings wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Disney332

[cartoonp]

Just heard there's a protest in London tomorrow by cake decorators

Hundreds and thousands are expected to turn up

[cartoonp]

Husband: A British girl would be nice.

Wife: Okay.

*Wife completes her trip and returns home.*

Husband: So did you bring me a British girl?

Wife: Yeah.

Husband: Where is she?

Wife: It takes nine months to unpack the gift.

[disney332]

What do you call a woman in a blue football shirt singing latin dance songs?

Gloria Leicester fan.

...

Two thai girls ask me if id like to go to bed with them, they said it would be like winning the lottery,

I agreed and we all stripped off but to my horror they were right we had six matching balls,

Disney332

[cartoonp]

THIS IS WHY WE LOVE OLD PEOPLE
A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?'

The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'

The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'

'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'

The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'
The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens