Parenting a Teenager!

[DisneyBelle1105]

Hi All,

People tell you how hard babies are with the sleepless nights and toddlers with the tantrums but i really didn't realise how hard raising a teen would be.

My 13 year old only child (a boy) goes to an all boys grammar school and in Year 8. He really enjoys school and says he has lots of friends but doesn't seem to want to socialise out of school. He says he can talk to them on the xbox. We do have a friend over once probably every other month but its usually me organising it.

So is this normal for boys his age?

He is a very sensitive child and has said that there is one boy that has been teasing him but i don't think its enough to call it bullying or warrant a meeting at school...yet. But will if it continues.

We live in a rural location so its not like he can play out with other kids.

Its making me quite anxious.

xx

[jndt]

My 14 nearly 15 year old is the same - he rarely makes plans with friends outside of school unless I tell him to. All of his friends live several miles away as he made friends with lads from a different feeder school (school is 6 miles away and they are a further 5 miles on top of that). My 12 year old on the other hand see his friends every weekend as they live locally - both are happy enough just different.

[Hooray4Disney]

Hi there,

Both of my DSs attend an all boys grammar school. One is in Year 13 and the other, in Year 11.

I would say that because of this, their socialisation has probably not been as much as say a local comprehensive.

My eldest probably started going out during Year 11 and certainly after the GCSE exams. Parties started in Year 12 and now we are on parties and organising festivals! He regularly chats with his friends on the PlayStation and uses this time as his socialisation time except he doesn't go out.

Youngest DS has recently just started going out during the holidays - again talks regularly with his friends (most nights!) on Skype, gaming etc.

I do think that due to the distances where all their friends live has impacted on them going out.

Eldest DS's friends are all now starting to drive - opens up a whole new World.

I would personally not worry about this in Year 8 - if anything, it delays the whole going out to parties/girls/drinking until they are a bit older.

[Gev]

Would he not join any external clubs of any description in your area?

[Camsmummy]

Hi, I have a 13 year old boy too although he's in year 9 (14 in May) He is an only child too and is exactly the same.He has a lot of friends at school but not one particular best friend and he very rarely shows an interest in seeing any of them outside of school.He is more than happy to play online on his PS4 and talk to them that way.One friend will occasionally ask him to go out to play football and he usually does when he's asked but it's not very often.When he was younger he had friends over after school for tea a few times a month but this hasn't really happened since high school.I don't know what he talks to his friends about as me and DH struggle to get a full sentence out of him just lately.Im sure it's common now for teenagers to be like this as his friends are all the same,so l wouldn't worry too much about it but just try to keep talking to him about the situation at school so you are aware if anything is troubling him.

[Guest]

My ds is 16 now and has quite a few friends and always has but didn't really go out much till he was older , I think in this day and age as they can communicate from the comfort of their own home they don't really feel the need to actually go out . It's sad but it's true for a lot of kids/teens .

[windsor_hills]

My DD 13 barely makes it out of her room let alone the house! I'm lucky if she interacts at all with us lol.

She's been for a sleepover to a friends for one night over the half term and a day shopping with friends, but mainly just snap chatting / face timing friends from the comfort of her bed!

Having just said all this...to my surprise She's just ventured out of her room and is playing some dance game on the Xbox with her younger sister... this is some sort of miracle!

I've had the same concerns, but seems like the norm these days unfortunately.

[Leanne1977]

Sounds like normal teenage behaviour to me. My 14 year old is the same and speaks to his mates through Skype and the Xbox. My 16 year old was the same too and is only now making more of an effort to get out with his mates.

[Stardust5]

My 15ds doesn't really go out but chats to his friends on the Xbox, instagram etc.

[Deggs]

My son will be 15 next month and didn't start going out til last May. But it's a rare occasion! His first time ever going out he took his bike which was heart in mouth stuff but he's proved he's responsible enough. And it's hit and miss whether he'll use his phone properly! He has been warned that I will hunt him down and embarrass him if he doesn't answer it! He talks with mates over the Xbox. I think they're all a load of vampires as if and when they do go out it's on dreary rainy days!

I want him to go out more, but relieved if he doesn't, but we can't have it both ways! I think it's a boy thing and they can't seem to organise themselves, and they're a load of lazy beggars! I'm sure my daughter will be out more at this age, I know I was!

Deggs x