Anyone else’s 15/16 year old not interested in studying anymore?!

[amy56]

Hi all

Following on from the university threads, anyone else have a son/daughter who hasn’t got a clue what they want to do, and at the moment at least, don’t want to study?!

My 15 year old son is in Year 11 and taking his GCSEs next summer. He is naturally bright, but does the bare minimum of work! He hates studying full stop and says revision is pointless!

They are getting lots of talks at school about college and signing up early for alevels etc. My son is saying he doesn’t want to go to college, and instead wants to do an apprenticeship.

That in itself doesn’t remotely bother me, it’s more that he hasn’t got a passion for any type of apprenticeship either! - his thought process literally seems to centre around the fact that he can earn money!

If I try to talk to him and suggest he thinks things through, and decide what it is he really wants to do, he either doesn’t want to talk about it and gets stroppy, or he turns the whole thing into a joke - either way, he’s not interested in discussing it.

He is known for not thinking about things until the last minute, and even then he changes his mind - he managed to change one of his GCSEs after half a term of doing another subject, and even then he wasn’t happy and still wishes he could change them again. It’s like he doesn’t want to make any decisions or remotely think about his future (which I totally get!), but I can see him just not being interested in anything enough to study it at a level, or finding an apprenticeship that inspires him to work hard either - money seems to be the only thing he sees the point in, but even then he can’t tell me what he wants the money for - he just likes the idea of it!

I don’t want to tell him what to do - it’s his life - but I am trying to suggest he studies/works in an area he loves (such as history) as I worry he’ll just give up if he decides he’s bored - but he says he thinks he’ll even be bored by history if he studies it any longer!

I do get his feelings, as I hated studying, and barely scrapped through my alevels as I was so fed up of studying, but he hasn’t got an alternative that he’s excited by either!

Anyone else’s children in the same boat?

[Evil queen]

We are in a similar position although my daughter does know what she wants to do, she just doesn’t want to do any work and is basically counting down the days until she finishes school. She wants to be a dancer/actor which is a tricky world to enter although her teachers tell me she has the talent I need her to understand that she also needs a reasonable set of results in case things don’t work out as she hopes. She wants to go to uni/dance school at 18 so needs to do A-levels or similar to achieve that. She will also need good gcse results to get in to sixth form which she says she understands but shows no attempt at putting any effort in. It’s infuriating! She’s quite a clever girl but has no interest in anything academic at all. She did manage to get a 7 in her English language exam this year which we were both delighted with and I hoped that feeling might spur her on but no! She just says she’s done with school now and is just going because she has to. I suspect there a lot of kids in a similar mind set at the moment and I think maybe some of it is to cover up the stress they are actually feeling about the looming exams.

[amy56]

Originally Posted by Evil queen

We are in a similar position although my daughter does know what she wants to do, she just doesn’t want to do any work and is basically counting down the days until she finishes school. She wants to be a dancer/actor which is a tricky world to enter although her teachers tell me she has the talent I need her to understand that she also needs a reasonable set of results in case things don’t work out as she hopes. She wants to go to uni/dance school at 18 so needs to do A-levels or similar to achieve that. She will also need good gcse results to get in to sixth form which she says she understands but shows no attempt at putting any effort in. It’s infuriating! She’s quite a clever girl but has no interest in anything academic at all. She did manage to get a 7 in her English language exam this year which we were both delighted with and I hoped that feeling might spur her on but no! She just says she’s done with school now and is just going because she has to. I suspect there a lot of kids in a similar mind set at the moment and I think maybe some of it is to cover up the stress they are actually feeling about the looming exams.

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I agree, I suspect my sons bravado is covering up for stress and fear about thinking about the future. I totally get it - I just don’t want him to leave things (both school work and considering his options) so long that he limits his choices.

It’s so hard for them, I just don’t know that the ‘bury my head in the sand and it will all go away’ approach will bring them much success! Lol!

Hope your daughter changes her mind about the studying - I just want him to enjoy it, but everything and anything is just ‘dull and boring’ apparently! 🙂

[ChoppyGirl]

My daughter is quite bright but also quite lazy and was doing the minimum amount to get by as she was not sure what she wanted to do. About halfway through year 10 she decided she wanted to be a vet and we looked at the criteria for the courses on the university websites.

She realised that she needed 5 x grade 7's to get onto the uni course along with AAA at A level and loads of work experience and to her credit has rally knuckled down and got on with it. If she had not had had a goal I think she would have gotten 6's in her GCSE and in fact she got quite a few 8's, a 7 and a couple of 6's so got a lot more that she needed.

I think if they have a focus they will work a lot harder and I am grateful that she has an end goal to help her.

[Gryff]

We had one left school with nothing now has a honours degree in enigineering a good job and owns several rental properties he's just 31
Took,him years to find his path
Another who due to his dyslexia knew the apprentice route was how he wanted to go he's a lines man now
Sometimes they have to take a long road to where they want to be

[duchy]

Whilst when you have teens it seems it's all about GCSEs Alevels and uni and you worry about your kids getting left behind if they ont follow that path , some kids feel so pressured that taking A levels simply isn't viable option (and that's what causes the high A level drop out rate).
With Access courses, University entry with NVQs etc if your child isn't ready yet and wants to work, it doesn't stop them going to uni later (and even slightly older students tend to do better/drop out less because they are often more focused and know why they are there rather than (some) eighteen year olds who go because it's the expected progression and have no clear end game in sight or particular career in mind.)
A different journey may be right for some kids .

[Loopylooloo]

Really relieved to see its not just us having this problem, our youngest has just finished GCSEs, and did well! He was over the moon, signed up for 6th form at his school, and hates it.

I think its such a shock going from GCSE to A level (although he did take couple of BTechs in there too, which I believe are easier)

The biggest issue - he has NO IDEA what he wants to do for a job. None. He mentioned a trade, but again, no idea which one or why.

Its awful seeing him so lost, I have reassured him that as long as he is doing something, and staying out of trouble, we don't mind what he does, not everyone knows their life path at 16, but am not quite sure how to help him!

[DisneyDaffodil]

My DD is setting off to uni tomorrow and this has been her aim throughout her school life. However, she has had her doubts over the past two years whilst studying A levels and since result day. A levels are a massive step up from GCSEs and although my DD had extremely high grades GCSEs, she found A levels exhausting (alongside Welsh Bacc which is compulsory here) She did gain excellent results in her A levels and a place in her first choice uni but again questioned if it was right for her.

There are so many big decisions for them at this age. How can most 15-18 year olds possibly know what they want to study and make a career choice at so young an age. My DD struggles to decide what to wear most days 😂

I would encourage your children to do as well as they can at GCSEs and then consider options. Also whatever they do decide, it’s flexible. My DD swopped an A level a few weeks into her course as she changed her mind. She also looked at humanities and science degrees as she was unsure which she preferred. Eventually as she visited different unis, she realised the Biology degree was the one that appealed to her.

She is looking forward to her course but we have said if she does find it’s not right for her after a while, then she should look at other options for year 2, whether it would be starting a different degree, apprenticeship or gap year. She doesn’t think this will happen but I feel that she needs to know that the choices she makes now aren’t final and she can change if she feels she needs to.

[welshmum]

DS is 13 and in Year 9. He will start his GCSE's in Year 10 and also doesn't know what he wants to do.

He keeps saying he wants to do acting because he loves Drama. I am finding it very difficult to try and consider other options :/

[Vanillapod]

Originally Posted by Evil queen

We are in a similar position although my daughter does know what she wants to do, she just doesn’t want to do any work and is basically counting down the days until she finishes school. She wants to be a dancer/actor which is a tricky world to enter although her teachers tell me she has the talent I need her to understand that she also needs a reasonable set of results in case things don’t work out as she hopes. She wants to go to uni/dance school at 18 so needs to do A-levels or similar to achieve that. She will also need good gcse results to get in to sixth form which she says she understands but shows no attempt at putting any effort in. It’s infuriating! She’s quite a clever girl but has no interest in anything academic at all. She did manage to get a 7 in her English language exam this year which we were both delighted with and I hoped that feeling might spur her on but no! She just says she’s done with school now and is just going because she has to. I suspect there a lot of kids in a similar mind set at the moment and I think maybe some of it is to cover up the stress they are actually feeling about the looming exams.

See more...

Sounds like ours are in a similar boat although DS threw Sports science into the mix last week as his back up?!

I must give him his due, he is suddenly knuckling down so fingers crossed.
We’ve actually Witnessed him working from study guides 😆😱

However, it’s all about drama and music and as soon as the various productions and projects start again I suspect he’ll be less inclined!