At a bit of a loss - DD wants to quit uni

[Rebelrebel]

Get her to defer to take some breathing space and decide what she wants to do. If she wants to leave the uni will keep a record of her credits and she can always go back at a later date and pick up where she left off if she wants or apply those credits to a different subject if they are relevant. If she doesn't want to go back so be it life is for enjoying not stressing.

[ERICSMUM]

At 20 with no commitments (mortgage, kids etc) she could afford to defer for a year and follow up other ideas.

If she can't face going back after the deferment it's not the end of the world.

The main thing is that she does something, not give up completely and sit at home letting life go by.

[daytonababe]

Uni isn't for everyone and if her mental health is suffering then leaving might be the best thing for her .

There are other routes she can take like a apprenticeship ?

[itsrachelhere]

Hi there, just thought I could help. I work at a university and a lot of what I do relates to disability support. Is she connected to the universities disability support office (or equivalent) yet? That's the first step. They will then be able to talk to her about all the possible options. Universities have a legal duty to make reasonable adjustments which take into account any medical conditions etc that a student might have. happy to help direct you to the right place if you PM me the name of the university.

[alisonjones]

I know people who haven't gone to Uni and have great jobs. It is just not for everyone nor is staying at school to do A Levels - If baking/cooking is what she wants to work as why not apply for work as that - without worrying about the qualifications, she can always go back for these later if she feels the need to. Being able to do the actual practical side is what is most important. If she feels that she's not ready to work for someone then why not make a batch of her best bakes and put them on a facebook page and see if she gets orders. She can then take the work on from there. If she feels ready maybe she should apply for jobs and put pictures on her c.v.s of what she has made. You'll be surprised at how many chef's want people working for them that can actually do the job, and they are willing to give people a chance. She may well regret not finishing later on in life but she may not. We have all done or not done things we regret - it's all part of life. Our DS did a business and finance degree however, once he had his degree he said that's not what he wanted to do but he wanted to be a chef. He is self taught in the main but has worked in some great top restaurants as a Chef de Partie - he has now worked himself up to be working in 3 michelin start restaurant as a chef de Partie - he works hard but it is hard work and determination that has got him to where he is, not his qualifications. I hope she achieves in life what she wants to and wish her all the best with her choices.

[Guest]

talking to the uni is a really good idea. their website should give details of support services and you might want to make contact yourself - more in terms of finding all the support options and contacts available first - then encourage her to make contact herself or with your help.

I got about 3/4 of the way through my final year and deferred my exams twice. I was in an awful state but went on to do 3 postgraduate courses. I just needed time and space.

[Stitchesmumanddad]

My son quit Uni last year ( after his first year )

It made him quite ill. He transferred his earned credits to the Open University as a part time course and has a little part time job. He is much happier.

[hipthehippo]

Please forgive me for not quoting people in my thanks...

But, THANK YOU all for your great messages. You've given us a lot of things to think about and hopefully find a way through this.

Stichesmumanddad - unfortunately, OU doesn't do her degree Glad your son is doing better and love your countdown!

[princess allie]

If she really wants to quit, let her. My own ds has just done this. He has been struggling since the beginning, has been on anti depressants and just generally unhappy. It is now like a weight has been lifted off him. He is back to my happy, sociable boy. I wish he had never gone. I do get a lot of negative comments, but I would rather this course of action than getting a phone call to say he had ended his life. It won't matter in a few years and he is now working in retail and supporting himself. As long as he is happy, that is all that matters to me. Big hugs and i hope it all works out for your daughter x

[storm]

Gather all info before making such a big decision.
Your daughter should speak to the disabled student department, they provide excellent help. DD gets extra time during exams, specialised equipment, parking etc as she has hypermobility syndrome causing joint issues. Friends children get help as they have dyslexic. These make her life at uni less exhausting.
Uni will also have a mental health team also providing assistance.
If she is struggling physically it will take a toll on her mental health.
Uni is not a good fit for everyone for various reasons. Apprenticeships/ employment might be a better fit.