Stopping smoking

[Wee_Red]

See the walking thing, can you get one of the kids to join you? I have no advice on the smoking thing unfortunately but I do know it can be hard to get people motivated.
My younger sister would sometimes be like "I can't be bothered with the gym" and it was quite hard to change her mind. I found it easier if the excuses were removed. "I've made you a sandwich, you can have your dinner when you're home" and then "We can get you on the way if you leave your kit out" and in the end she'd have her own sandwich made up before going to work in the morning.
If you go out anyway, regardless of the weather, he may be inclined to join you.
I've been quite fortunate teaming up with my neighbour. We used the excuse of "Well she has to take her daughter out in the buggy every other day!". Now it's a habit; we head out for an hour in the evening, grab a decaf coffee and enjoy looking at people's decor/fancy Christmas lights.

[ClaireNJ]

Originally Posted by Princess Ariel

DH (46) has smoked since he was a teenager. He smokes roll ups (about 7-8 a day) and is classed as obese (BMI 31)
I have never smoked and it’s always been a bit of an issue between us as I absolutely hate it and have often tried to encourage him to quit.
He had a telephone consultation with the GP today as we suspect he may have sleep apnea. He has been referred to a sleep clinic but the GP also said he should stop smoking and try to lose weight (no surprise there).
We are both planning to try and lose some weight and be a bit more healthy in the new year anyway but the stopping smoking has caused two huge rows between us this afternoon.

He is still showing no interest at all in stopping and I’m finding it so hard to respect this decision. His dad has heart problems and has had a pacemaker fitted and his nan had type 2 diabetes and vascular dementia so his risk of developing heart failure/stroke/dementia or heart attack is so high and I’m just finding it so frustrating that he’s being so stubborn about this. Honestly the excuses he comes up with are infuriating! (It’s not the nicotine he needs but the hand to mouth action and if he quits smoking he would probably eat more was one of them!)
Even our 12 yo DS said a couple of weeks ago he wishes he would quit because he’s scared something will happen to him and even this hasn’t been enough to make him consider quitting.
Sorry I know there are no answers I just needed to let it all out somewhere before I explode at him. (We currently aren’t talking) the last couple of days have just been one thing after another!

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I can’t believe he doesn’t want to do it for his family, I want to be fit & healthy to see my Grandkids grow up & that would be surely enough motivation for me for sure

His addiction is surely shortening his lifetime with your son, can he not see this & get some help, I’m so sorry to be blunt but when you have kids ,you love & care about them & want them to be happy, but if you don’t look after yourself as parents then they & you will suffer, you only get one life should make it a good one 💕💕

I am so pleased that me & Hubbie can round around after our Grandkids at an indoor play centre when others sit on & watch, I’m sorry to be harsh, but it is the best the feeling in the world & if your Hubbie can’t do it now he needs to think of the future, small steps now, cut down the cigarettes & cut down on the food, he’ll feel so much better for it 💪💪💪😀😀
I hope you make it up soon
Take care
Xx

[Whitequeen]

Originally Posted by captain-codeye

Your right and that’s from an ex smoker.

Like the op’s husband I smoked from 14 years old and very heavily, I stopped cold turkey 15 months ago and had been on 40 a day for over 20 years.

I was also (and still am&#128514 overweight and very laid back!

I knew the risks, I knew it stunk like hell, I knew the kids hated it, knew it was costing me a fortune to kill my self and worse of all it was controlling my life.

I was was at the point where I would wake in the night for one, planing journeys where I can stop , not going to meals and out with friends where I couldn’t smoke, i knew every smoking area in every Florida theme park without a map and would plan out fast passes around them😬

But still I chose to carry on, like you said un fathomable why but I did.

I still to this day can’t tell you what made me stop but one morning I woke up and whilst coughing my guts up like normal something clicked, I had 200 in the cupboard and I binned the lot and never looked back.

I have honestly never even held one let alone smoked one since, the smell now discussed me and I feel nothing but pity for anyone I see smoking.

All I can tell you is that nagging, pressure etc won’t help, unless he’s ready just give up telling him your wasting your time, I know I was there.

I’m sorry I can’t tell you what triggered me to stop but when he’s ready he will, I can tell you however that it was very easy and the thought of giving up was harder than than the actual event, but I wouldn’t have believed that if anyone told me!

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Apart from the 'Cold Turkey' this was me! I hadn't been on half the rides in WDW until I stopped smoking. I was always in the smoking area. Lol.
I went through the GP and was prescribed Champix. I smoked for exactly 2 weeks after starting them and have not touched a cigarette since. 12 years August just gone.
Whilst I know you are worried, and rightly so, it's like every other addiction. Unless the addicted person wants to stop you're wasting your time trying to talk them into it. I hope he changes his mind.

[Princess Ariel]

Originally Posted by Wee_Red

See the walking thing, can you get one of the kid's to join you? I have no advice on the smoking thing unfortunately but I do know it can be hard to get people motivated.
My younger sister would sometimes be like "I can't be bothered with the gym" and it was quite hard to change her mind. I found it easier if the excuses were removed. "I've made you a sandwich, you can have your dinner when you're home" and then "We can get you on the way if you leave your kit out" and in the end she'd have her own sandwich made up before going to work in the morning.
If you go out anyway, regardless of the weather, he may be inclined to join you.
I've been quite fortunate teaming up with my neighbour. We used the excuse of "Well she has to take her daughter out in the buggy every other day!". Now it's a habit; we head out for an hour in the evening, grab a decaf coffee and enjoy looking at people's decor/fancy Christmas lights.

See more...

This is a good idea, if I just go anyway he may just decide to come with me so I’ll try this, thank you 😊

[Princess Ariel]

Originally Posted by ClaireNJ

I can’t believe he doesn’t want to do it for his family, I want to be fit & healthy to see my Grandkids grow up & that would be surely enough motivation for me for sure

His addiction is surely shortening his lifetime with your son, can he not see this & get some help, I’m so sorry to be blunt but when you have kids ,you love & care about them & want them to be happy, but if you don’t look after yourself as parents then they & you will suffer, you only get one life should make it a good one 💕💕

I am so pleased that me & Hubbie can round around after our Grandkids at an indoor play centre when others sit on & watch, I’m sorry to be harsh, but it is the best the feeling in the world & if your Hubbie can’t do it now he needs to think of the future, small steps now, cut down the cigarettes & cut down on the food, he’ll feel so much better for it 💪💪💪😀😀
I hope you make it up soon
Take care
Xx

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Thank you, I have actually said all of this to him, I think he’s a little bit in denial because he thinks it will be so hard to stop. We have had a bit more of a calm discussion about it this evening, I did suggest that perhaps the thought of stopping maybe more difficult than the actual stopping which he accepted. Small steps I think. He has absolutely no confidence and is very down on himself and I think this is part of the reason he thinks he just won’t be able to quit so what’s the point of trying?
We are back on speaking terms now (we usually get on very well and our arguments are very short lived)

[bigseve]

I think it’s easy for non-smokers to just think “ach, he should just give up, it can’t be that hard” but it isn’t easy. It was the hardest thing i’ve ever done and it took more than one try. 15 years without a smoke now but i still class myself as an ex-smoker.

He’s got to be ready to do it and no amount of nagging or tutting or being disgusted will help him be ready sooner. It’s just something in your head, a trigger if you like, and for me it was standing outside smoking in the belting rain whilst DW played with 18 month old DS on the living room floor.

The one bit of advice i would give him would be to try to lose some weight (not easy either) before he stops smoking. So many people i know, myself included, put on weight after stopping smoking. Try to encourage him to find something else to occupy his time/hands when he stops rather than nibbling on treats.

Good luck to him.

[ClaireNJ]

Originally Posted by Princess Ariel

Thank you, I have actually said all of this to him, I think he’s a little bit in denial because he thinks it will be so hard to stop. We have had a bit more of a calm discussion about it this evening, I did suggest that perhaps the thought of stopping maybe more difficult than the actual stopping which he accepted. Small steps I think. He has absolutely no confidence and is very down on himself and I think this is part of the reason he thinks he just won’t be able to quit so what’s the point of trying?
We are back on speaking terms now (we usually get on very well and our arguments are very short lived)

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He won’t know till he tries though
I’m glad you’re talking again 😍
Xxx

[Princess Ariel]

Originally Posted by bigseve

I think it’s easy for non-smokers to just think “ach, he should just give up, it can’t be that hard” but it isn’t easy. It was the hardest thing i’ve ever done and it took more than one try. 15 years without a smoke now but i still class myself as an ex-smoker.

He’s got to be ready to do it and no amount of nagging or tutting or being disgusted will help him be ready sooner. It’s just something in your head, a trigger if you like, and for me it was standing outside smoking in the belting rain whilst DW played with 18 month old DS on the living room floor.

The one bit of advice i would give him would be to try to lose some weight (not easy either) before he stops smoking. So many people i know, myself included, put on weight after stopping smoking. Try to encourage him to find something else to occupy his time/hands when he stops rather than nibbling on treats.

Good luck to him.

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I know he’s worried about putting on weight if he stops smoking. He is very good with finding projects to keep him busy, way better than me! He’s built a huge floor to ceiling cat post for our cat, a wooden gazebo for our decking area and is currently making a waterfall for the garden out of cement and polystyrene! He’s very very talented and handy but has just never had any encouragement from anyone before he met me so he always puts himself down.

[Guest]

As an ex smoker who tried a few times to give up, and had DH nagging me for years all I will say is the more you nag the more he will dig his heels in.

The moment just had to be ‘right’ or else it’s impossible. I just decided out of the blue nearly 10 years ago, went cold turkey and succeeded finally.

He will get there but it will have to be in his own time. The addiction is strong.

[ChrisS]

Originally Posted by Princess Ariel

Thank you, I have actually said all of this to him, I think he’s a little bit in denial because he thinks it will be so hard to stop. We have had a bit more of a calm discussion about it this evening, I did suggest that perhaps the thought of stopping maybe more difficult than the actual stopping which he accepted. Small steps I think. He has absolutely no confidence and is very down on himself and I think this is part of the reason he thinks he just won’t be able to quit so what’s the point of trying?
We are back on speaking terms now (we usually get on very well and our arguments are very short lived)

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Hi Ariel - a friends husband smoked since he was early teens until mid 60's - she said he'll never stop but encouraged him to smoke and vape, lo and behold he quickly stopped tabs and vaped only. He vaped for around 2 year or so with nicotine juice then changed to non nicotine juice as it was the 'action' he felt he'd miss. Early this year he developed a shocking, debilitating cold (? C19) that slammed his chest and he simply stopped vaping, he doesn't miss vaping especially as he was circa one year nicotine free. He was adamant he'd never stop smoking tabs and was delighted for all his negativity vaping nicotine/non nicotine juice worked brilliantly for him he thinks still getting the 'action' made all the difference and being ill made him realise being nicotine free meant he no longer needed the 'action'.

Best to you and yours Ariel, good luck