Dads present at a birth

[novocastrian]

Originally Posted by daytonababe

Well despite her better judgment my daughter put him on the birth certificate
And all it’s caused is 2,5 years of stress and ££££ in legal costs

He’s not interested in the child has never ever paid a penny before or after her birth .. yet because he’s on there he gets parental rights
He could come and take her today and little we could do .

We need his permission ( did before a court order ) to take her on holiday etc etc ..

Last Christmas he decided after 6 months he wanted to see her .. she was 15 months old we agreed .. he came spent 21 minutes with her claiming his newborn son was seriously ill ( that was a lie ) , he’s never seen her since despite living 2 miles away .




Your friend can do something about it btw, he can go to court and get a court ordered DNA test done when this proves he’s he dad he can be put onto the birth certificate and have his parental rights .

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to be honest i dont think there is any dispute he is the dad, but they moved away to the other end of the country so little he can do for access even it was that simple sadly...

btw your daughter sounds like she is well off keeping him out of hers and her baby lives

apologies if i sounded harsh but im sure you agree there are often two sides to these cases, although yours is clearly very one sided...

[novocastrian]

Originally Posted by Mr Tom Morrow

Who on here remembers the late great Ilivehereorlando Poster?

I loved her pithy posts, sadly missed

She described her Daughters Partner as a waste of skin. One of the best comments she ever made.

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she made a great comment about mousekeeping tip envelopes

something along the lines of.. 'they dont care about twee envelopes just give them the cash !'

[Wee_Red]

Quite frankly I'd love to skip the whole labour part and just be pulled in when the baby is out and cleaned up.
If I ever fall pregnant, gonna see if I can negotiate a 'just clean knock me out Caesarian '.

One can but dream

[Mr Tom Morrow]

Originally Posted by novocastrian

she made a great comment about mousekeeping tip envelopes

something along the lines of.. 'they dont care about twee envelopes just give them the cash !'

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11th Sept 2017 from me-

Terribly sad news. A true Lady who always gave good advice and was willing to give of her time to help others.

Condolences to her family.

I adored her witty and pithy humour which she used to great effect on the car forum where there is less activity and very friendly banter.

Something to remember her by was a response she posted to a question about Mousekeeping Envelopes - They don't want your twee envelopes, give them the Dollar.
That sums her up to me and what I will always remember
RIP Sue.

[daytonababe]

Originally Posted by novocastrian

to be honest i dont think there is any dispute he is the dad, but they moved away to the other end of the country so little he can do for access even it was that simple sadly...

btw your daughter sounds like she is well off keeping him out of hers and her baby lives

apologies if i sounded harsh but im sure you agree there are often two sides to these cases, although yours is clearly very one sided...

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No not at all there are two sides to cases I know , and I know for a fact he’d tell a very different one.. that’s what happens when you can’t separate fact from fiction 🙈. Which is why everything has been kept so one day when she’s older and she asks she can see for herself what he’s like .




Yes it’s tough for your friend , tbh I think all dads should be on the birth certificate, the child has a right to know who it’s parents are.
But I don’t think being on there
Should automatically mean they get parental responsibility and a say .

[Jaspercat10]

I had 4 caesareans, and I know my husband would have much rather been outside, he was definitely traumatised, saw bits of me that I will never see, for some reason he had to go and see one of the babies in a cot down by my feet in the operating theatre. Obviously when you have caesareans you are full of drugs etc to keep you calm, numb etc.. where as the man sits there as sober as a judge.

[dreamadream]

As a midwife I feel I can answer this with honesty.
Most men do a blooming good job and are so pleased to be involved in the birth, they really are part of the team. You get a good sense of how well they work as a couple and how he will parent.
Some really should of stayed home as they don’t want to be there and are useless. I have had men who hadn’t spoken a word of encouragement or kindness in 12 hours. You know the relationship will never last.

And some women want them there just to show how them how much pain they are in. We see it all the time, women coping really well until their partners (or mothers) arrive and they suddenly start screaming and the pain seems to go from a 4 to a 10 straight away...

We of course get the fainters too, but they usually give you warning they are that way anyway. So I keep them fed and watered as don’t want 3 patients to care for at the delivery...

[FlorayG]

Many years ago one of my friends invited 8 people to the delivery room. One of these people was a man and the midwife shoo'ed us all out except him - until my friend told her he was not the father and then we all trooped back in and stayed.
One guest who is a good Catholic married lady with 4 children of her own plonked her chair at the 'business end' and said "I'm not going to miss this, it's always been too stressful to concentrate on the process while having my own"
The mother never told anyone (including the child as far as I know) who the father was because she said HE didn't know and she didn't want to put that responsibility on him because it had been her deliberate decision to get pregnant by him

Yes, she is more than a bit weird...

[Colette-S]

Originally Posted by FlorayG

Many years ago one of my friends invited 8 people to the delivery room. One of these people was a man and the midwife shoo'ed us all out except him - until my friend told her he was not the father and then we all trooped back in and stayed.
One guest who is a good Catholic married lady with 4 children of her own plonked her chair at the 'business end' and said "I'm not going to miss this, it's always been too stressful to concentrate on the process while having my own"
The mother never told anyone (including the child as far as I know) who the father was because she said HE didn't know and she didn't want to put that responsibility on him because it had been her deliberate decision to get pregnant by him

Yes, she is more than a bit weird...

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That’s really weird. Can’t believe you all actually went in too

[mickey house]

Originally Posted by Colette-S

That’s really weird. Can’t believe you all actually went in too

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I would have paid not to have gone in. I also have to agree that it was very weird she wanted so many people watching her give birth😷.