Pills, Thrills and Bottom Aches 2014 - Day 25

[wizzo]

Day Twenty Five 1st September 2014

The index is HERE


So, that fateful morning had arrived. I’m sure you all know, and can feel what it’s like as you read this, it was departure day. Thoughts of the journey home, navigating airports and worse still, the thought of going back to work prevail on the morning you fly home.

Today was no different.

We were awake for 6:30am, once again this holiday I think we did fantastically at being up early and making the most of every day. We were all showered in double quick time and the cases were sealed up tight (just). I have a set of travel scales and one of the cases was 25kg. Having just spent 20 minutes wrestling them shut I told Lynn that we’d risk it and hope to sneak it through at check-in.

I put the trash and the recycling out, loaded the car up and by 8:10am we were sat in the car setting off for one last time.

The journey up to MCO was a quiet but uneventful one and before long we had dropped the car off with Alamo (empty tank, no scratches, no dents) and were in the terminal building.

The moment of truth had come at the American Airlines check-in desk. I put a couple of light cases on first to soften the blow and then lifted the heavy one onto the scales (trying to make it look as light as possible). The scales registered and it said 55.5lb! This was 5.5lb (the 2kg I weighed) overweight. The bloke at check-in said straight away “That one’s over sir you’re going to have to take something out”. ARRRGGGHHHHH this morning we were going to be the numpties in the airport scrabbling about on the floor with the contents of several cases scattered everywhere arguing over whose fault it was!

I’m over dramatising. I’m a Dad, and Dad’s always have a plan. I’d already identified what I could take out of that case if needs be. Thankfully the bloke on check-in was really nice and said to me “lose a kilo and I’ll let it go”.

Quick as a flash, I popped the case (whilst sat on the floor) and whipped out two Tusa snorkelling masks in protective cases and a pair of my shorts, put them in my rucksack and sealed the case back up.

I’d easily got the 1kg needed and through it went! Quite what difference those three items being in the hold or the cabin makes is beyond me but we had diverted disaster and were all check-in.

We went straight to security to get ‘airside’ before breakfast. At security I got selected for a drug test. Don’t worry, it wasn’t the pee in a bottle kind. They spare you getting your ‘old man’ out in the middle of the terminal building and doing it into what used to be a bottle of semi-skimmed. Instead, I simply had my fingers swabbed and the swab was analysed.

I later mused that I must have looked a bit rock ‘n’ roll for MCO and that’s why they’d picked me. Lynn offered up a different viewpoint in “You look like a bloody mule”. The cheek of it! I think you’ll find that’s ‘Stallion’ dear!

I came up negative (phew) it was like being in an episode of Miami Vice! Except we were in Orlando and there was zero vice!

The massive advantage of being hauled off for a drug test was that they had their own scanner to one side, so we didn’t have to queue to go through the metal detector.

So we’d avoided a jail term (although I’d have accepted a few weeks in county jail for the chance to stay! ) and the most important thing now was breakfast! Well, it was for the kids, Lynn and I were desperate for a coffee.

We got a sofa and Lauren and I dived into Starbucks (and the bakery place) for coffees, OJ and a selection of pastries.





For the first time since St Petes, I got a paper to read too! We sat for a while and ate breakfast and I digested the news. After half an hour or so we headed to the gate.

We were soon boarded on our first of 3 flights today. Yes that’s right readers, we are ‘two stopping’ on the way home too! This first flight was to JFK.











This was a cracking flight on AA, we had tons of overhead locker space and I even treated myself to the on-board WiFi (it was only £3). I showed the kids the flap in the arms of this plane and they found it hilarious that these were once ashtrays. “What people used to smoke on planes!?”, “Yes kids, they did when I was a little kid”

I really like American Airlines, we’ve always had great service on their flights. The stewardesses are always top class too. Ours was pretty astute and gave me these two cans of coke.



I made the most of the WiFi by doing a bit of tweeting and browsing. I can’t wait for all planes to have WiFi it will make long flights a lot easier.

Lynn had an English bloke in the aisle seat next to her (we couldn’t all sit together because the seat configuration was 3-3 so we sat in pairs instead) and I had noticed that he was split up from his family. I started pulling his leg about doing it deliberately and said “I need to take some lessons from you, how did you pull off being 5 rows behind your wife! ? You need to give me some tips.”

“The kids are down there too! ” he laughed. I felt like shaking his hand.

Before long we were touching down in New York and the sun was still shinning.







We were soon off the plane and catching the ‘Airtrain’ from T8 to British Airways’ terminal which is T7. We didn’t have to worry about catching the next flight as we had a 4.5 hour wait. We touched down at 1pm and our BA flight to Heathrow was 17:30pm. Months prior, we had worried that this long connection might be a real pain but as it turned out it went really quickly.

We all sat and read, toured the plentiful shops, I bought a little light reading about the life and times of Charles Manson. The kids had a MacDonalds for lunch and Lynn and I got a pizza from Wolfgang Puck Express.



After lunch we shopped more, Lynn bought perfume, the kids bought sweets. Then we had a couple of beers. It was by far the most enjoyable 4 hours I’ve ever spent in an airport.







We heard a call at some point for BA connecting passengers to go to the service desks to get their passports checked. We did this and as we stood there waiting to be seen the woman looked down at Maddy (who was holding her ‘Beast’ soft toy) and went “For a second there, I looked down and thought, my god, they’ve got the ugliest kid ever!”, I said “Don’t speak too soon, you haven’t seen the other one yet! ”, she was wetting herself laughing. She was lovely and came around to our side of the desk and gave the kids special tickets made out to ‘The Beast’ and ‘Baby Jaguar’ for both their soft toys to travel too. It was a nice touch.

Teatime rolled around and we were soon queuing with lots of other Brits, heading back across the pond.

We boarded early as we had kids with us and were soon settled into our seats and away.



There’s not much to say about the flight, food was okay, I watched Godzilla (which was average at best) and the girls watched ‘Maleficent’ (which obviously, is excellent).

We all slept the rest of the way back. The flight was 6:10 in duration and we landed at Heathrow at 7am on the dot.

We had a couple of hours to wait and headed to Huxleys for a full English breakfast. It was a cracking breakfast after all that American food.



We’d timed breakfast to perfection, paid the bill and made our way to our third and final flight back up to Newcastle. Like the previous two, this flight was a breeze. We arrived into T5 from JFK and stayed in the same terminal for the flight home. We were even joined on the flight by Robson Green. Doubtless he had just been on another fishing adventure and looked shattered. Unless that’s how he always looks! If you’re reading this Robson whilst googling your own name and stumble across this post. You did look like you’d just woken up with a sore head in shanghai brothel though!

We got to Newcastle early (and looking fresher than Robson) and once the bags turned up our car was already waiting for us in the pickup zone at the onsite parking.

Another 30 minutes in the car and we were home.

My final note reads “Another fabulous trip, lots of new experiences….time to plan for the next one!”

So there you have it, we’re all done. This was our longest Florida holiday ever and the extra time did make a big difference. In years going by we’ve felt like we had to cram in park days to make sure we did them all. There was none of that this time. While the days went quick and it was our best holiday ever, when we got home it felt like we’d been away ages, which was also a nice feeling.

The cruise was a revelation for me. I was convinced I would merely tolerate it for the sake of the girls. I was dead wrong. Not only did I never feel trapped on a boat, I was happy to stay on the boat in Nassau. The food, drink and entertainment were absolutely first class. I don’t know why I ever doubted that Disney wouldn’t do ‘boats’ with the same level of detail and quality that they do in their hotels and theme parks.

August’s weather was HOT but we were soon acclimatised and after the first few days I can’t remember it ever being much of a consideration. You do take on one hell of a lot of liquid through the day though. Countless times whilst writing this report I’ve edit out phrases like “We stopped for a couple of bottles of water again” because it happened so often it made the day I was writing seem like some sort of drinking completion!

We’d had a year off before this trip and as I said in the Pre-Trip Report, it did us no harm. We had been 8 times in 6 years and having a little break meant we enjoyed it all the more. Don’t get me wrong I don’t want to go every other year!

As I’ve said, it was a fantastic holiday and I hope that has come across in my musings. I’d like to thank everyone who has taken the time to reply along the way. It’s literally only your feedback that keeps me going. While I might not have had the time to reply to everyone, rest assured I’ve read your replies and they are very, very much appreciated. Writing this mammoth affair has been a real ball ache!

Now I’m at the end, I actually feel ready to start a new one! I can’t quite believe that myself. There were times writing this one that I thought it might be my last (I always think that at some point though it’s the miserable sod in me coming out!).

So I hope you have enjoyed reading about our travels and the ridiculously funny things that happen to us. I know not every day I write is full of belly laughs but that’s because none of it is made up. If we have a day where nothing comical happens to us it will be a standard review. Trust me, I don’t make this shizzle up!

To all of you with countdowns ticking down, cherish the build-up and have a truly magical time wherever and whatever you do………and write a trip report!

Many thanks again for investing the time in reading this waffle and stay tuned for the Pre-trip Report for holiday number 10 which is due this August!

Wizzo

[JoJo88]

Bravo! Bravo! I felt exactly the same about no more reports whilst in the middle of the last one - funny how that changes once you're at the end of it! Bit like childbirth I guess, although thank God childbirth doesn't last as long...

Great to see that 4 hrs in JFK isn't too awful, we've got a similar layover this year. Typically, we are flying back to MAN, whereas LHR would've been ideal for us

Proper funny exchange with the girl in the check out 'you've got the ugliest kid ever'! Always a welcome surprise when you find one with a sense of humour

Anyway, thank you for your wonderful report once again, can't wait to hear what you've got planned for this year

#dibbafterispottedyourpostiletoutalittleyippee

[Grapesoda]

Fair play to you Paul, another cracking read and a beautiful "diary" for the girls to look back on. Your reports (& others) have been the kick up the backside I needed to finally book a Florida holiday, and your reports will be the ones I MAKE my husband read to get him interested!
Thank you.

[yellowrose78]

I've loved reading your trip report, thanks very much for sharing! Looking forward to your next one now

[EllenClaire]

have loved reading every single day of your report again and loved seeing the villa as we stayed there is Sept 2012 (lovely place) cant wait for the next trip report i'm sure there must be another trip on the horizon

[Gev]

Brilliant! Thank you so much for taking up what must be a lot of your time to write up your report and sharing your family's experiences and adventures with us all. Thank you for the laughs and entertainment. The up side for me is that you had a longer holiday and I can go back to the beginning and read it all over again! Hope to hear you have plans afoot in the not too distant future.

[holidaygirl1973]

I have absolutely loved reading your trip reports, you all sound so similar to our little family... me the wife, lover of cocktails and the sun, two little girls to constantly entertain and make us smile and kip the fab dad who loves being with and entertaining his girls just like you do...I have to say I think I you are absolutely brilliant, such a hands on dad who clearly loves nothing more than his girls. You can see they idolise you. My husband is the same with our girls and that's a rare thing these days. I cannot wait to plan our first florida holiday next year and have taken many notes and tips from your report. Thanks for a fantastic read, I shall miss them!

[ely3857]

I'm definately most appreciative of anyone who starts, and more importantly finishes a trip report! X

[sarahw607]

What a great trip report, I've really enjoyed reading along and I'm a little sad it's all over! Thanks for taking the time to write it, I'm already looking forward to the next one!

[MrsMouse93]

Fantastic. I've loved reading you report as always and look forward to the next one.