Online Dating

[Bubble123]

Hi Everyone,

Thought I'd come back & update you all..

I decided to message him yesterday & asked if he was ok, Just a short message. He replied & said he was so sorry he thought he'd messaged me & I was ignoring him.

We chatted for a while, and he got a job promotion he'd mentioned just after Easter - at this point he wasn't sure what was happening.

He'll be doing a fair bit of travelling as they have various sites over England, and won't be able to make plans as such for the foreseeable future as he's going to have to spend a lot of time working & being away.

He wants to keep in touch which I'm happy too & potentially meet for a drink at some point in the future, but we'll not be pursuing things romantically for now.

I feel better knowing this, I guess everything happens for a reason & what's meant to be will always find a way.

For now I'll continue as I was, happy with my dogs, talking holidays & hoping good thing will come.

Thanks everyone who replied to me, very much appreciated.

[Loopylooloo]

Glad you got some clarity, and at least he was polite and kind! Have been told by many single friends that dating in todays world is not for the feint hearted, but also, have friends who have met wonderful partners so don’t lose faith x

[klr15]

I’d still be wary, if he thought you were ignoring him then surely he would have clicked on to your messages and then seen that he was the one who didn’t reply?

Also with the working away thing, so many men use this ruse to have the wife at home and the mistress (or mistresses) on the side.

I’m not trying to put a downer things, but personally I’d just walk away and not be in contact with him anymore.

Slightly different situation, but I met a guy at uni when I was 18, we started meeting up for drinks and I stayed at his place a few times, eventually he started to ignore my messages after I’d stayed at his, he wouldn’t reply for a few days and then he would just pop up and say he had been busy or he would say that he thought he had replied and that I was ignoring him!

Every time I wanted to discuss if this thing we had was going anywhere he would change the subject and get really awkward about it, he had been in a relationship and they split up before he met me so I had sort of hoped we would end up together.

He led me on for around 7 months and I’ve never felt more crap than what I did during that period, but I fell in love and it was hard to let go.

During this time I met my current partner and he kept asking me on a date and I kept turning him down because I still hoped me and uni guy would be together, eventually I caved and went on a date with my current partner, all of sudden uni guy started showing an interest again and was wanting to meet up, but I gave him a virtual middle finger and I haven’t looked back since!

Don’t give up hope, you’ll find someone nice online eventually, you just need to weed out the weirdos.

[mickey house]

I'm pleased you feel able to move on, but I'm sorry to say that it sounds like he is talking more bull than I usually do (which is a lot). He has gone from sending hundreds of messages a day to zero, then he says 'he thought he had messaged you and you were ignoring him.' It takes no effort or time to check who sent the last message on a phone, and even if he believed that he did send the last message (which seems very implausible), it would be reasonable/normal for him to send another message to check things are okay.

The old chestnut of 'I'm working away' is about as believable as me being the next James Bond.

Sorry, but I would advise you ignore any future contacts from him, and there is a reasonable chance he will be back in contact with you again (once he's having no luck with the other online women he's chatting up and they've sussed him out for what he is).

[2point]

My take on it - he's got someone else and always has.

Since he's been restricted at home the chance to message is too risky for him so comes up with the ill/stressed excuse.

This working away line is to allow him to keep you at arms length as and when he wants to.

Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

[Bubble123]

Thanks everyone, I don't plan on messaging him anymore, if he wants to say Hi that's fine by me. I'm a nice person.

We'd been messaging for weeks so I'm pretty sure he had no one else at this point the amount we were messaging would be way too hard. But if he did, they weren't with him as it was constant, from morning to night during work the lot.


Since things changed, he could well of found someone else from this point on. It's possible, we went from everything to nothing.


I do agree with him not checking if he'd messaged, surely there would be an unread message by my name.

But it is what it is, I've learnt a lesson not to invest too much time with someone online before meeting with them.


I'll remain positive, even in these crazy times! I have a lot to be thankful for & I'm sure one day I'll find someone who is exactly right for me!

[mickey house]

Originally Posted by Bubble123

Thanks everyone, I don't plan on messaging him anymore, if he wants to say Hi that's fine by me. I'm a nice person.

We'd been messaging for weeks so I'm pretty sure he had no one else at this point the amount we were messaging would be way too hard. But if he did, they weren't with him as it was constant, from morning to night during work the lot.


Since things changed, he could well of found someone else from this point on. It's possible, we went from everything to nothing.


I do agree with him not checking if he'd messaged, surely there would be an unread message by my name.

But it is what it is, I've learnt a lesson not to invest too much time with someone online before meeting with them.


I'll remain positive, even in these crazy times! I have a lot to be thankful for & I'm sure one day I'll find someone who is exactly right for me!

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You will find someone in time, and when I was young, most women thought I was a mentalist looney and ran from me. I resigned myself to spending my life alone, but then one day I was walking along my local high street in my carpet slippers and eating a large bar of aero, when a woman showed interest in me. Things moved very quickly, and we spent an hour together (although I didn't need that long), and she even gave me a 10% discount as it was my first time.

So my point is, never give up hope.

[Bubble123]

That's it.. To be honest I've never been a huge fan of online & even though only separated last year so kind of new to all this always said it wasn't for me but thought I'd give it a go..

What will be will be, put it down to experience I guess. I actually just brought a large bar of caramel aero today, I believe it's new..

I'm pleased you found your one, I also kinda like to think we find what we want when we're not looking, but we shall see..

[happytraveller]

Originally Posted by mickey house

You will find someone in time, and when I was young, most women thought I was a mentalist looney and ran from me. I resigned myself to spending my life alone, but then one day I was walking along my local high street in my carpet slippers and eating a large bar of aero, when a woman showed interest in me. Things moved very quickly, and we spent an hour together (although I didn't need that long), and she even gave me a 10% discount as it was my first time.

So my point is, never give up hope.

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I had to read that twice to make sure I'd read it right

[mickey house]

Originally Posted by happytraveller

I had to read that twice to make sure I'd read it right

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To be fair, few people get my humour (I even confuse myself sometimes).