Do you make your teenagers iron their own clothes?

[Smilesonfaces]

My son (22) rarely wears anything that needs ironing. He has never picked up an iron in his life (don’t think husband has either) My own fault I know but the only house job son does is the dishwasher.
I do the main ironing but if daughter (15) needs something in between she does it herself. She also cleans the house through quite regularly but she is a bit of a cleaning obsessive. She does charge her brother for doing his room !

OP maybe see if there is a job in the house your daughter could choose to do. I wouldn’t be so cross about not doing the ironing I would be cross at the cheek. If you say no jobs then no spends then you really need to stick to it.

[Macca04]

Nope four kids loads of ironing never asked them to do it, but my mum never asked me.

Not saying I’m right and you’re wrong, my eldest son asks his 11 year old son to do the drying up and they have murders over it, never asked my son to dry up either.

Edit to add my DH did the ironing occasionally, all the time now he’s not working at the moment and I’m working from home.

DD 24 does the ironing sometimes but then me or DH have to do it again. Wouldn’t have asked her when she was 14 as she is the youngest and didn’t ask her three brothers to do it at that age. Can sort of see where your DD is coming from but no need to be cheeky,

[Blue nose]

I've started teaching my DS then 13 to iron during lockdown.

He was refusing to do school work as stressed but I wouldn't allow him to sit and play minecraft all day while I wfh, DH went to work and DD went to school.

He'll do t-shirts without complaining and tidy his room.

We all clean together at the weekend, they'll vacuum and wipe kitchen cupboards/door handles while DH or I clean bathrooms or tidy things away. We all do about 20 mins and house done.

During week we make DS load/unload dishwasher. He will complain that younger DD11 doesn't have to so I explain he didn't at that age.

I think you're right to prepare your eldest ready for uni. A friend's son came home in first year as couldn't cope alone.

Maybe go easier on your youngest in balance of fairness.

[Michyloulou]

Originally Posted by mickey house

I do get where your daughter is coming from and it does seem a little unfair when her brother hasn't had to start ironing until he was several years older.

As a fully untrained psychologist I feel that you may have perhaps jumped in with both feet and your negative reaction created a negative mirror reaction. You not only gave your son preferential treatment by not expecting him to iron until he was several years older than your daughter, but you then threaten to take her pocket money away.

I think you should apologise to your daughter because parents aren't always right all of the time, and I'm sure she will appreciate your honesty and also learn that it's healthy to admit when you're at fault.

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You could be right - she certainly knows how to push my buttons - especially the line that goes (if I ask for the slightest of help) “Well its not my fault you had me, you’re a parent it’s your job“. Its also the tone with which she delivers this. To me it sounds brattish. Take a recent example, she had her friend round who was staying for tea. My DD & friend wanted something different from the rest of us, which I agreed to. I had quite few pans on stove & as she came into the kitchen to grab a drink, I asked her if she’d mind putting the cutlery on the table. She huffed at this, I even put the cutlery in her hand. When I put dinner on the table she’d taken me at my word and just dumped the cutlery on - didn’t bother actually laying the table. That sort of behaviour feels quite disrespectful to me. I can’t imagine ever treating my parents like this.
The same daughter who a few months ago asked me (specifically) for a cleaning job for some extra pocket money, which I gave her. After the first week I had to remind her to do the cleaning. After the 2nd month when she asked me for the money (even though she did no cleaning that month), then tells me it’s my fault for not constantly reminding her to do it!
I just feel she’s a bit ungrateful- she’s recently had her bedroom re-decorated, brand new fairly expensive bed, new memory foam mattress, new vanity desk & bedside table. It also makes me worry about her work ethic for the future. DS didn’t scream & shout - he’s quite willing to do it when he next has t-shirts/jeans that need ironing & his work ethic at school & home can’t be faulted.

[dizzy1]

I've started to teach my 16 year old daughter, to prepare her for uni. She only does it occasionally, but I'm fine with that, as long as she is picking up the skill. Started teaching her how to cook her favourite meals during lockdown, so she can do those at uni too. Son is currently 13, and he will start ironing at 16 too.

[disney_l81]

My 16 year old does her ironing, washing, tidies her room, polishes and hoovers for me, and gets the tea started for me coming in from work (peels and chops veg) then helps whilst I cook it- she enjoys cooking the most- she normally does the dishes after tea too. I dont see anything wrong in it, like the previous poster says it'll come in handy when they leave home.

[Michyloulou]

Originally Posted by dizzy1

I've started to teach my 16 year old daughter, to prepare her for uni. She only does it occasionally, but I'm fine with that, as long as she is picking up the skill. Started teaching her how to cook her favourite meals during lockdown, so she can do those at uni too. Son is currently 13, and he will start ironing at 16 too.

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That’s good. Again with my DS, he can make himself basic meals like tuna mayo, bacon sandwiches, beans on toast etc. He’s mainly started during lockdown when he was at home but I still had to work. He’d sometimes be out running when DH was getting lunch for the others, but would quite willingly make his own on his return. As you say, great for when they go to Uni.

[DisneyDaffodil]

My 19 year old DD is in uni and doesn’t own an iron, she hangs her clothes up neatly and wears them without the need of an iron. I do iron clothes, but not as much as I used to and I never iron things like tea towels, towels or underwear.

On saying this, it is useful to teach them a few basic household skills before they go to uni like how to use the washing machine and some cooking skills. I can understand why your DD feels it’s unfair that she had to learn and start doing her share because her brother is going to uni so I may not have insisted she did it too (although it certainly wouldn’t be a bad thing for her to do)

[Michyloulou]

Originally Posted by Macca04

Nope four kids loads of ironing never asked them to do it, but my mum never asked me.

Not saying I’m right and you’re wrong, my eldest son asks his 11 year old son to do the drying up and they have murders over it, never asked my son to dry up either.

Edit to add my DH did the ironing occasionally, all the time now he’s not working at the moment and I’m working from home.

DD 24 does the ironing sometimes but then me or DH have to do it again. Wouldn’t have asked her when she was 14 as she is the youngest and didn’t ask her three brothers to do it at that age. Can sort of see where your DD is coming from but no need to be cheeky,

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I never minded ironing etc when I was younger, but the gripe I had with my mum was that all 6 of her daughters were expected to iron, but not my brother! Hence. I’ve always been adamant that any son of mine would learn!
I’m the youngest and when my sisters had all left home, my brother returned to live for a while (still not doing any housework/ironing). By this time I was 18 & my mum expected me to help. Again I didn’t mind (used to quite enjoy cooking back then) but I was very principled in not doing my brothers ironing for him! One evening he’d rushed home from work, straight into the bathroom as was going out & offered me £20 to iron his trousers & shirt (I refused!). My friend who was over at the time was gobsmacked that I’d turned down 5 minutes work for £20! 😂

[Macca04]

Originally Posted by Michyloulou

I never minded ironing etc when I was younger, but the gripe I had with my mum was that all 6 of her daughters were expected to iron, but not my brother! Hence. I’ve always been adamant that any son of mine would learn!
I’m the youngest and when my sisters had all left home, my brother returned to live for a while (still not doing any housework/ironing). By this time I was 18 & my mum expected me to help. Again I didn’t mind (used to quite enjoy cooking back then) but I was very principled in not doing my brothers ironing for him! One evening he’d rushed home from work, straight into the bathroom as was going out & offered me £20 to iron his trousers & shirt (I refused!). My friend who was over at the time was gobsmacked that I’d turned down 5 minutes work for £20! 😂

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Ha, ha cut your nose to spite your face, my DH had five sisters four older and one younger, his mum let the girls do everything, he used to pay he’s younger sister to do he’s ironing 😂