Help! I want to book our first ever trip to Disney but ...

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Where do we start? There's so much to consider, especially as our eldest son is in a wheelchair.

What month to go?
Weekend or weekday?
Which hotel?

We want a winter trip and were initially thinking of late Jan/early Feb because we like to have something to look forward to after the mayhem of Christmas but we were worried as our trip to Paris last February was cancelled last minute due to the snow and after reading some trip reports with temperatures of -15 it's put me right off the idea! So my latest thoughts are November/December which hopefully won't be quite as cold but will also mean we're there for the Christmas season.

Our next problem is what days to go. I work in a school and hubby has just started a new job so I was hoping to go Friday-Monday which would only involve 2 days off for all of us but having read some of the posts here, I'm wondering whether weekends will be too busy for us to cope with the wheelchair. I don't think queueing will be a problem as I think we'll be fastracked due to our son being handicapped and in a wheelchair but will we find manoeuvring in the crowds too difficult at weekends?

Our last problem is which hotel. We don't need a disabled room but would like to choose the hotel with the biggest family room as we have the chair and other equipment for our son. We also need a hotel where there are sufficient reliable lifts so we don't spend most of our holiday waiting to use them! I like the sound of Sequoia Lodge for the Christmas season but I like bright and modern rooms and I read some posts here saying that they're quite dark. I also like a bit of luxury so New York Hotel is probably my first choice but wondered if it was worth spending an extra £500 for the Disney Hotel. As they're both 4 star, what are you paying for? Is it just location?

I'd appreciate any snippets of information to help me make the best choice.

Thanks