Are Britain’s streets really that unsafe for women

[Unexpectedpenny]

Originally Posted by buryboy

It’s almost as though men don’t live with women and talk with them about their experiences.
And I am struggling to see where anyone has told a woman how safe she should feel
I can’t remember a thread before where a man isn’t allowed to share his views.
How sad it has come to that when the whole thread was started by a man asking what he could do to help.

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Of course you/men are allowed to share their views. That doesn’t mean they will always be agreed with and with a topic as important as this it’s vital that viewpoints which may not align are posted.

It’s a very emotive subject and will always be difficult to discuss.

[Blue nose]

Originally Posted by SleepingBeauty

For me, the answer to what men can do to help is as follows:
Don’t hurt us or support anyone who does.
Don’t normalize it or support anyone who does.
Don’t suggest to us how to feel.
Don’t marginalize our feelings or experiences.
Accept that toxic masculinity in our patriarchal society has made this world an unsafe place for women as a whole.

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I'd go one step further in your first point...if you witness other men behaving or saying something that the receiver feels uncomfortable with then challenge it.

In my workplace other men just walk away if they hear an inappropriate comment - not wanting to be part of it which is great but instead stand up and stay 'Stop. That's not right'

Be a true advocate for change.

[buryboy]

Originally Posted by SleepingBeauty

For me, the answer to what men can do to help is as follows:
Don’t hurt us or support anyone who does.
Don’t normalize it or support anyone who does.
Don’t suggest to us how to feel.
Don’t marginalize our feelings or experiences.
Accept that toxic masculinity in our patriarchal society has made this world an unsafe place for women as a whole.

See more...

Genuine question .
Do you feel I personally have done any of that ?
Because I feel that I have done none of it but feel that I have been unfairly accused ( directly or by inference seeing as though I don’t think any other men have been on this thread in a while ) of a lot of it .
So that I can learn , feel free to point out where my words have given you that belief.
Thanks

[katiec68]

Originally Posted by buryboy

It’s almost as though men don’t live with women and talk with them about their experiences.
And I am struggling to see where anyone has told a woman how safe she should feel
I can’t remember a thread before where a man isn’t allowed to share his views.
How sad it has come to that when the whole thread was started by a man asking what he could do to help.

See more...

I totally agree.

There seems to be a lot of "all men this" and "all men that" being posted.

And people trying to outdo each other on who is more offended by what others have said.

It seems that if you try to have a moderate view or a view that differs from others then your view/thoughts cannot possibly be true or allowed.

[Neil & Stella]

Originally Posted by JoJo88

Excellent post.

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To be honest I am a little ashamed that I didn't even think of taking these steps years ago. I shudder to think that I could have inadvertently caused someone distress due to not being aware of their fears or anxieties.

Like the PP noted 99% of men aren't a threat, but of that number how many are like me and didn't even think about it in the past.

[Pjamas]

Originally Posted by Blue nose

I'd go one step further in your first point...if you witness other men behaving or saying something that the receiver feels uncomfortable with then challenge it.

In my workplace other men just walk away if they hear an inappropriate comment - not wanting to be part of it which is great but instead stand up and stay 'Stop. That's not right'

Be a true advocate for change.

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Exactly this! Objectification and sexualisation of women is normalised and condoned by passive observers all too frequently and leads people to push boundaries thinking they have society’s permission to do so without malice.

If we can change this behaviour it will be a step forward.

[SleepingBeauty]

Originally Posted by buryboy

Genuine question .
Do you feel I personally have done any of that ?
Because I feel that I have done none of it but feel that I have been unfairly accused ( directly or by inference seeing as though I don’t think any other men have been on this thread in a while ) of a lot of it .
So that I can learn , feel free to point out where my words have given you that belief.
Thanks

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Because I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you personally, I've no idea what you have or have not done.
My post referred to your gender as a whole, and answered the OP’s question, from my perspective, of what men could do to help.

[buryboy]

Originally Posted by SleepingBeauty

Because I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you personally, I've no idea what you have or have not done.
My post referred to your gender as a whole, and answered the OP’s question, from my perspective, of what men could do to help.

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Thank you
I meant whether in my posts on this thread I had done any of things on you list ?

[SleepingBeauty]

I’d also like to point out that 99% of men being non-complicit seems very suspect, as 1/3rd of all women have reported being assaulted by their partner, and 1 in 6 women have reported being raped. Many more have been unreported.
Someone is doing this assaulting, and it isn’t just 1% of men.

[myaquarium]

I’m really happy this whole debate has started again on the media etc. I have a daughter 16 who seems quite well up on this whole situation. I mentioned to her this morning whilst the subject was on the radio how women and girls back in the 90s carried alarms with them for protection. I’m so happy she has a mobile which back in the day women and men never had. I’m happy she is aware of the problems in society and hope it does not impact on her life.
We should also remember this type of predatory behaviour has been around for years and years. Both women and men have suffered and both have been the aggressor. Sadly there are a few deviants in our society and we should all stick together to protect each other.